Measurements by Joy

Posted: January 17, 2015 in Uncategorized

I was telling a client about my last trip to the Comedy Store. I told him that Rob Schneider went up on stage after Pauly Shore. My client asked me if he was funny. I responded that he was funny, but I was surprised how short he was.
Client, “Oh yeah?”
Me, “Yep, he was like nipple height.”
Astonished client “Seriously Joy is that how you measure people?”
Me (realizing that maybe I’m the only person that measures people with body parts)
“Well, yeah. I mean a table could be measured as vagina height. “Its about Vag high.” If you are offended I can change genders. He is small enough that your balls would rest comfortably on the top of his head.”
Client silently laughs.
“I wonder if that is why Europeans use the term stones as measurements. One stone could mean the person is the height of a mans feet to his balls (testicles if you want to be politically correct.) Two stones? Obviously you would double it.”
Yes. I know. This is not the first or the last time I will realize I am not the most professional massage therapist out there. Yet, I am booked weeks in advance. I must be doing something right.
Have a fantabulous week.

  1. Myk Pilgrim says:

    I’d be okay with that as a measuring system, I guess it works as long as everyone only takes mental guesstimates. The image of a group of contractors whipping out their dangly bits on the planning table to confirm that they’re all using the same increments. Is just too funny for the real world.


  2. jenlanebooks says:

    Ha ha ha! “The table’s about cooch high.” 😉 Hehe. Sounds like a good measurement system! And I do love comedy clubs–must visit one soon.


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