Grandpa killed Joy!!!

Posted: September 20, 2014 in Uncategorized

Mother nature decided to flex her muscles this week before succumbing to the choke hold of fall.

We had three days of 106′ weather. It was fucking dreadful. My tiny brain was unable to handle the heat, and decided to try to force itself through my eyeball in search of colder temperatures. In short, I had an awful mind shattering migraine.

I now have three post in drafts, but I was unable to come up with an ending for them.

My mind is still healing from the pain that was enforced on it.

I almost skipped this week of blogging, instead I decided to go for a laugh.

About a week ago one of my family members went to visit my grandma and grandpa’s grave. It is about four hours away, so I rarely get around to visiting. 😦

I started to think about the two of them, and the impact they had on how I turned out. LOL

I will share stories of my grandma, soon. She was just as awesome as my grandpa was.

They recognized that I was different. I was the odd duck of the bunch. (I will admit this because they don’t read my blog, but I have a gorgeous family. Seriously, I never felt like I fit in with them.)

My grandpa used to tell me to own my weirdness, and I am sure you can tell I took his advice.

One day when I was little (I couldn’t have been over ten) my cousins and I were playing in the sprinklers. It was a scorcher. One of my cousins pissed me off (I couldn’t tell you why) and I scratched her. Of course I got in trouble.

My grandpa took me in the house. I was crying. I never had my grandpa get mad at me before. It was devastating.

He looked at me, and told me. “Joy Eileen, I am going to count to three and clap my hands together, and I want you to scream like I spanked you.”

I  was crying even harder not really understanding what was going on. I remember sobbing, “No, grandpa.”

He started to count.




I should have explained that heat, and stress do not mix well with me.

Before he could finish saying three. My nose spurted blood like it was a blocked fountain that had just been unblocked. I sprayed all over my grandpa’s flannel button down shirt. We stared at each other as my nose continued to convulse blood. Springing to action he ran outside to get my grandma.

When all of my cousins saw my grandpa’s blood soaked shirt they started screaming and running around saying,

“grandpa killed Joy”

The heat reminded me of this story.

I couldn’t think of what to write this week, and so I decided to go with something that makes me smile.

I promise next week will be better. Unless it isn’t.

  1. wccunningham says:

    This was freaking hilarious! Thank you for sharing.

    Grandparents seem to form a special connection with us. I miss mine too.


  2. lizaoconnor says:

    Your poor poor grandfather. lol Thanks for sharing.


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