Archive for June, 2014

I am actually bouncing up and down on my seat, as I write this post.  I have been extremely busy with trying to get Breaking Faith legible, that I have been neglecting everything else lately.  So, realizing that the Forth is almost upon us, I had to take time to explain my absolute adoration for this holiday.

Last week I was massaging a client, when he asked me if he could reschedule for the following Friday. (I am so glad he was face down, because the look I gave him was very insulting) I answered that “no, I would not be working next Friday because it was the Forth of July and it is my favorite holiday.”

He asked me why out of all the holiday’s I would pick the Forth as my favorite? (See, he asked. I didn’t just go off on some random tangent, on the Forth. This time I one was actually prompted.)

I took a deep breath, and launched into my explanation….

I need to first explain that my birthday, is on July 14th. This is what started my love for the holiday. The excitement knowing that presents were near, started right after the grand finale. Also, when I was little,  my grandpa (the greatest man to ever live) confided in me that the fireworks were from him for my birthday. (I feel I need to explain I was a weird child, and as most can tell it still has not left me in adulthood.) I took his words to heart, and every time the multicolored bits of fire would light up the sky, I would just smile and nod at how cool my birthday present was.

There is a villain in this story though. My third grade teacher Mr. G, tried to take away my present. Mr. G was a short asshole of a man. I would get into arguments with him weekly when I was little. One day he asked if any of us knew what the fireworks on the Forth of July represented.  My hand shot up in the air, knowing that I had this one. He pointed at me, and I explained that they were a birthday present, from my grandpa. I will never forget his oily face , as it laughed at me. He then explained to me very harshly that my grandpa was a liar. (I know, right.  What an asshole.)  My little eight year old body was shaking with rage, as I yelled at him that my grandpa was not a liar, and other things that got me sent outside. (To this day I honestly still have anger toward Mr. G.)

Anyway’s, I told my grandpa about this douche waffle\,  and he explained to me that Mr. G was in fact an idiot and unfortunately I would be running into more like him throughout my life.

Besides the fireworks and my birthday, I have other reasons for my love of the Forth. For starters I feel that it is the most unassuming holiday we have. Let me explain, most other holiday’s people are expecting things from you and there is a level of pressure put on most. Valentine’s day, Mother’s day, Father’s day, Christmas everyone is clamoring for the perfect gift to show the people around them that they love them, and they aren’t going to murder them in their sleep. Not the Forth, the Forth is like your high uncle that would take naps on the couch, and never worry about anything but where the chips were.

Now some of you might argue that Thanksgiving is another holiday where you are supposed to bask in the glory of nothing, but I disagree. I feel Thanksgiving has its own stress, people slave over food hoping that it doesn’t make everyone sick, or worried how they are going to resist that second piece of pumpkin pie (f-ing pumpkin pie) I could go on, and on talking shit on the other holiday’s, but I am forcing myself to stop. (you are welcome.)

So bust out the bar-b-que and stuff your face with summertime delicacies, and if you want, when the fireworks are bursting in the sky, you can always think of my weird third grade self, flipping the bird to her evil teacher.

Trying to get onto Bloglovin, lets see if this works

Good Stuff

Posted: June 23, 2014 in Uncategorized

I haven’t added a funny story in awhile, and I was trying to think of what I should write about. I actually put a couple request’s for story ideas on Twitter, and Facebook to see what you wanted to hear. I didn’t get a very good response (I guess I am not as popular as I thought) so I decided to write about something that still makes me laugh when I think about it. This happened a couple of months ago, and evolved into a running joke in my house.

Have you ever been in a situation that you are so flustered; you have no idea how to respond so the most inane response comes out? No, yes, not sure, let me give you an example.

I had the pleasure of witnessing one of these situations, and now I get to share it with you (hopefully it is plural, not singular if it is singular, thanks mom.) I was in the car with Jm, and this man decides to cross the street right in front of us. He was not in the cross walk, and was crossing at a snail’s pace.  As we approach the turtle like pedestrian, I slink in down in my chair preparing for the insults to fly. (I do not do confrontation) Jm rolls down his window, he opens his mouth, and yells out “Good Stuff.” Yes, good stuff.  Jm grips the steering wheel tightly, and stares out the window like something is going to jump out in front of the car at any moment. I could tell he was wishing that I was not in the car when that little gem left his mouth.

I tried, I really tried to stay in control, but I’m me. I look over at him and say “So… were you trying to hit on him, or insult him.” Jm still doesn’t look at me, and I can’t control my laughter when he tells me to “shut up.” Do I stop there? If you know me you know that I have to keep going. “You know I say, you just gave that guy a permanent nickname. He is going to go home tonight, and tell his friends that when he was crossing the street some random guy yelled “good stuff” at him.”  At this point even Jm is laughing, but I keep going. “One of these days you are going to meet a man, and he is going to introduce himself ‘Hi my names Jim, but my friends call me goodstuff.”

I hope I am conveying how hilarious the whole thing was. I was telling one of my patients this story, and she tells me a story with a similar situation.

(oh shit talk about somebody’s ears ringing.  Jm just called me to ask what I was doing. I told him I was writing the Good Stuff Story. He called me a dick.)

My patients dad was driving, and some guy cut him off. Her dad was upset, and when he caught up to him at a stoplight he rolled down his window to tell him off. Her dad was so upset, that he yells out “Nice driving….Hat.” The offender was wearing a hat at the time, and her dad being so flustered, couldn’t think of a better insult. (See it happens to everyone Jm, don’t feel bad.)

I would love to hear anyone else’s witty gems.good stuff

Sky Watcher by Ella Emerson

Posted: June 23, 2014 in Uncategorized

‘Sky Watcher’

Allison Singleton is divorced at age 35 and destined to be alone forever, or at least that is what she believes.

Her sister is determined to find her love, so is setting her up on blind date after blind date. Allison then meets the HOT lawyer Gavin McDermott, who offers her a job she will never forget. A chicken farm? Who would do that?

She wants to try new things, so on a whim, she accepts. Follow Allison as she finds herself, her dreams, and maybe even love.

A funny, cute, and enticing tale that will leave you breathless.
Sky Watcher will be available soon!!

Teaser:

“Hi there.” I say.

“Want to go for a walk?”

“Sure”

We head outside; the sun is shining, warming my chilling skin. It feels so good; I raise my head towards the sky, soaking in the suns heat. We begin to head out towards the lake, taking our time, enjoying natures sounds that fall between us. I look to him, out of the corner of my eyes, taking in his masculinity, the way his muscles move together, forming the flawless body. He walks with the confidence of a man who knows his place in the world, having all the answers to life’s little questions, how does he makes it look so easy. I turn to him and smile, letting him know I am present, lost in thought, but still here. He looks over to me, seeming to be lost in thought as well. He stops, when we are nearing the big willow tree.

“Want to hear a story?”

Not really waiting for my answer, he motions for me to sit down under the sizable tree.

“Do you know the legends associated with the Weeping Willow trees?” he asks.

“No” I answer.

“Some say that the weeping willows once stood upright and strong, but that the broken hearts of lovers so touched the heart of the trees that they bent in grief and were never able to straighten themselves again, weeping the tears of each lover. Others say that they weep for the pain that mankind inflicts upon the earth and that they will right themselves, once again, when a new era of peace and kindness becomes a reality.”

“That’s beautiful.”

His eyes land on me, as he smiles a slow sexy grin, he repositions his body to where we are facing each other. He leans his back against the tree, grabbing a hold of one of the branches, he says to me, “It is the tree of dreams; I have sat here so many times over the years, dreaming of how my life would turn out”

“Well is it everything you have dreamed it would be?” I ask.

Our eyes hold each other as he, drops the branch, it sways as he says, “Well no, but that’s life, you know, it never kind of turns out how you dream it would be”

http://www.ellaemersonauthor.wordpress.com

Tags:ella ella2 ella3

What is the name of your main character? Is he or she fictional or a historic person?

Casey Wheeler is a fictional character telling a story of hope that very closely resembles my own.

2. When and where is the story set?

Casey weaves through the suburbs of San Francisco, trying to find a place to land with her daughter, Maddy, having just left an abusive and unfaithful husband with nothing but the clothes they’re wearing and the cash in her pocket.

3. What should we know about her?

While her willingness to stay so long in an unfaithful marriage seems questionable, Casey’s motives stem from her maternal instinct to provide security and consistency for Maddy.  These same instincts force her into the unknown, with nowhere to go, in order to protect them both from her husband’s blatant infidelity and increasing abuse. Casey is willing to walk away from all she’s ever known to provide Maddy with a life she never had – one filled with love, security and the freedom to be a child. Her isolated, loveless and controlling marriage closely resembles the overbearing, unloving and critical childhood she experienced with her father, a retired, decorated military man who has had much success as a litigating attorney. He is short on compassion and high on expectations and criticism. Casey’s unplanned pregnancy and disagreeable marriage left her without the option of turning to her parents. Her father’s only offers of help always came with the unthinkable demand that she rid of Maddy, a stain on his perfect life, one way or another. Her mother uses alcohol to cope, and her fear of her husband’s wrath prevents her from helping Casey in any significant or meaningful way. With no one to turn to, Casey cries out a prayer for help in desperation. The answer she receives is nothing she could have ever expected, and is the beginning of a life-changing dialogue she never knew possible.

4. What is the main conflict? What messes up her life?

Casey’s most urgent and immediate conflict is her lack of shelter, money or a job that could provide the possibility of either.  Accepting the role as unquestioning housewife has left her without options.  Independence is something Casey has never experienced and she is ready and determined to get it, never returning to the life she’s left behind. Having cried out for help, to a God she’s only heard about indirectly or casually, the answer comes faster than she expects as she loses control of her car, crashing onto a hillside off of a dark highway in the pouring rain. The building at the top of the hill provides the answers she’s been looking for, but what lies inside threatens to change her entire perspective on life…and death, forever.

5. What is her personal goal?

While Casey strives to establish independence and a safe, loving environment for Maddy, she stumbles onto much deeper personal transformation, finding a new and growing faith, the real meaning of family and the possibility of new love, all in the unlikeliest of places – a funeral home.

All the Wrong Places is available in print and ebook format at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, iBooks/iTunes

The first four chapters are available for free at http://www.rebeccafisherbooks.com

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Good Pussy Bad Pussy

Posted: June 23, 2014 in Uncategorized

In brief, the book is a page-turning combination of erotic romance, sexual thriller and modern love story. The book is available on Amazon and as an ebook/Kindle. http://www.amazon.co.uk/Good-Pussy-Bad-Rachels-Tale/dp/1782790845/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1375982886&sr=1-1&keywords=good+pussy+bad+pussy+a.+aimee

The book is getting great reviews all around including 5 Star reviews on Amazon and Goodreads because as reviewer TM Adams said on her blog For the Passion of Romance: “Good Pussy Bad Pussy is a little deeper than most Erotica novels. The character of Rachel is written with such depth that readers will laugh, cry and envy Rachel by the time that the book is finished.”

Other comments:

This was a really intriguing book and I recommend it to anyone who likes erotica, drama and a love story all rolled into one! Ella Marie on her blog Reading is a Way of Life and on Goodreads and Amazon

There’s enough craze and kink, tears and thrill, romance and repentance to make Good Pussy Bad Pussy a perfect gift Doris Dawn, sex blogger on her blog and on Goodreads

Or #Goodpussybadpussy is a “great freaking book my friend” says book reviewer and blogger @ReneeGiraldy on Twitter!

Or check out this awesome review by Sylvia Storm who really understood what I was trying to do. Sylvia writes: “Good Pussy Bad Pussy is brave, wonderfully done, it hooks me in and grabs my interest from the start.” Here’s the link to the complete review:http://ereaderotica.com/?p=2600

Or from Goodreads:

“This book will captivate you intoxicate you and leave you wanting more! Once you start reading this story you won’t want to put it down. I was totally captured by the main character’s struggle and fight with herself and her emotions.”

Or from Author Alliance:

Excellent Turbulent Erotic Story – by Rachael Orman

The name of this book immediately made me say OOOOh I want to read that. I’m always in for a good steamy book. The synopsis sounded amazing too. But as I started reading, I realized this isn’t your typical naughty book. It has dark, tear jerking moments as we follow Rachel through her life.

It sucked me in and I just kept reading!

http://www.authoralliance.net/aaimee

Here is the back cover text:

“Good pussy bad pussy. I knew something had awakened in me, something I’d never experienced before. A force, a power, a drive, an energy. Call it good pussy, call it bad pussy, call it whatever you will, but a life force had been awakened in me and I couldn’t put it (her) back to sleep again. Right or wrong, she was awake! She was alive! And she wanted more.’

Most married women only dream of having sex with other men, but Rachel actually did. And it got her into all kinds of trouble. From Amsterdam to the French Riviera to New York City… from her blond lover Stefan, to aristocratic Albert, and mad doctor Howard, Rachel tastes forbidden fruit – and likes it. That is until life takes a very surprising turn!”

Or check out this interview by Jon Pressick on his blog Sex-in-words talking about orgasm as a portal to the Divine: http://sex-in-words.blogspot.dk/2014/02/what-do-you-do-with-good-pussy-bad-pussy.html

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Coolest Job Ever!!!!

Posted: June 23, 2014 in Uncategorized

Alright so I met someone today who may quite possibly have the coolest job ever. She works at Madame Tussauds Wax Museum in Hollywood. I know, I know super cool, right? I immediately launched into Joy type questions; poor thing probably didn’t even enjoy her massage because my crazy ass wouldn’t leave her alone. I mean how awesome to be able to work around famous people all day, but not have to deal with their attitudes. No odd requests for water there folks.

In case you are wondering; No she does not pose inappropriately with the wax figures, when the museum is closed. (The way she answered it, made me realize I may have been the only one to think of such a thing. Oops)

She also didn’t have any weird stories, like the figures moving when she wasn’t around. (May have watched Night at the Museum too many times.) I just think it would be funny to see, which characters hooked up with each other at night.

They are not shipped in refrigerated containers. (I know what you are thinking, and no they also do not sit on a plane next to unsuspecting passengers either. L) They are shipped in regular crates. (I like my idea a lot better. I mean they are coming all the way from London, at least you can do is get them in business class.)

They do not have wicks in their nipples, either. L She told me that nobody has ever asked that question. (High-Five Joy for being creative.)

The figures get to go on tours, all around to the sister companies. They swap, and share their figures like a nice little community. (You can insert your inappropriate thoughts here…..)

Her favorite at the moment is Whitney Houston. (No she does not have white powder around her nose.) Oh, and speaking of powder they do get to sometimes touch up the figures. (I know so cool.)

I did giggle when she told me that Brittney Spear’s in Vegas gets knocked down a lot. They have to recast her. I also asked if they cut her hair off, when she went a little crazy. (They didn’t, but her head has been bashed in. What happens in Vegas and all.)

But she did explain that when a star get’s a tattoo, their figure also gets the same one. (So awesome.) They will also take a figure down to give them a hair cut when their counterpart changes their style.

They are currently not on Twitter, but I tried to convince her that the wax figures need a voice. I even gave her some ideas, which coming from me, probably will not go into fruition. I was so excited, to talk to her and she was super nice in not brushing me off as crazy. I decided I needed to share.

You can check out the museum online at  http://www.madametussauds.com/hollywood/

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Lady Antebellum Concert

Posted: June 23, 2014 in Uncategorized

As you are all aware I went to a Lady Antebellum concert on Saturday. I am not a huge country fan. Before you get your panties in a bunch, let me explain. Even though I am not huge country fan, I respect anyone that is able to make a living doing something they enjoy, especially after writing my own book. Any artist that is willing put their stuff out there for the world to see has some brass balls, and I totally respect you. Ok, now that that is over.

I explained to my friend that in order for me to handle this concert she was going to have to get me drunk, which isn’t that hard being that I am such a light weight. We start our night at the Cheesecake Factory. Anyone on Twitter was aware of this fact, as I seem to have a penchant for tweeting while drinking. Everyone and their uncle decided that they wanted to eat at the Cheesecake Factory so we end up at the bar. The bartender’s were awesome, and totally got my sense of humor, or they wanted a fat tip (lucky them, they got both.)

I am having a good time laughing, and joking around with the bartender when my friend starts saying “Trout” over and over again. Extremely confused, I remind her that she ordered the Chicken for dinner, which in turn she looks at me confused. I guess while I was hamming it up with the bartender, she started watching the baseball game and some dude named “Trout” was up to bat. Even the bartender was laughing with us, holding her hand up to a waiting customer until she could get her laughter under control.

On the way to the concert

After dinner we go to the concert. I was expecting to see a sea of belt buckles capped with cowboy hats, I was thoroughly disappointed, there were a few but not at all in the quantity I had imagined.  We ended up missing the opening act, being that we were having so much fun at dinner (DARN.) We find a spot in the overcrowded amphitheater, being that we were so late we ended up being miles from the stage (I may be exaggerating some.) Because we are so high up, we are surrounded by many drunken people (since the drink vendors were up where we were.) I made friends with some of the local drunks, until they realized it wasn’t my type of music, and I was quickly shunned.

The concert finally started, which is good because their glares were diverted to the stage. I was proud of myself for not cringing, and I will admit their songs are very easy to figure out the lyric that was coming next, so by the end of the songs I was totally singing along. I was super excited when they did a Fleetwood Mac song, because I knew that one. At least I was excited until some girl next to me told her boyfriend, that it was her moms music (WTF) I just sang louder. “Telling my friend it was the best song they sang all night.”

At the end of the concert I was pissed. I knew one Lady Antebellum song, it was the booty call one that was all over the radio awhile ago, and they didn’t sing the damn thing. They said goodnight and walked off the stage, without singing the one damn song I knew. I was tad bit tipsy, so I may have started protesting. I think something along the lines of “What the Fuck. I stayed this whole damn concert, and they didn’t even play the one fucking song I know. This is bullshit, the one fucking song I could sing along with, and they decide not to put it on the playlist.” I think my rant went on a little bit longer, until they came back onstage and, you guessed it, they sang the damn song. People around me were giving me high-fives, saying they came back for me. I jumped around and sang along with way too much enthusiasm, but what the hell. After wading through the drunken crowd, we ended up going to the Yard House where we had the most amazing brownie ever, rounding out the crazy night.

 Unless you count getting locked out of my house, when I got home a part of the night. I thought that more was going to happen, and I am slightly sad that I don’t have any more to tell you. More details may emerge later on, I did drink more than normal.

TROUT!!!!!!

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GETTING TO KNOW MY MAIN CHARACTER

1 What is the name of your main character? Is he or she fictional or a historic person?

Arguably, I have two main characters in the MASTER series, but rock star/secret vampire Raiden probably edges out his reluctant acolyte, famous TV star Gabriel Colin. Raiden is fictional – as far as I know. 😉

2. When and where is the story set?

Books 1-3 of the MASTER series take place mostly in present-day Detroit, with flashbacks to LA and mention of Nagoya, Japan. Deux (#4) begins the storyline shift from Detroit to present-day LA.

3. What should we know about him?

In Crimson (MASTER, #1), Raiden has spent the past five years adjusting to life as a vampire. The night of his transformation resulted in the death of Naomi, his former fiancee. Even now, years later, he’s plagued by guilt over his role in her murder. As a result, he isolates himself from society, and does his best to view humans as prey, rather than bond with them.

Not only the lead singer of Scent, one of the most successful J-rock bands in Japan, Raiden is also biracial. Although he grew up with his mother in Japan, he visited his American father’s plantation in North Carolina every summer for years, so he’s a product of both US and Japanese culture. This alienates him from most people, as he finds it hard to fit in.

4. What was the main conflict? What messes up his life?

Raiden’s main conflict is his vacillation between living without morals and keeping his humanity. The fact that his first human victim was his fiancee doesn’t help him sleep at night. He’s deeply fearful of getting close to another soul again. Gabriel Colin’s abrupt entrance into his life complicates his situation.

On the one hand, he wants to push Gabriel away, but on the other, he has a kinship with him, so his opposite desires are often at war with each other.

5. What is his personal goal?

Above all, Raiden does not want to get caught. Were his vampirism to be exposed, he would lose the one joy in his life – performing to a captive audience.  He craves connection, but is more comfortable doing it from afar, so his role as Scent’s lead singer proves vital to his struggle to keep his true nature on the down-low.

Also, he’ s a blood-junkie, so he’s always thinking about how he can get more blood, and he’ll stop at nothing to feed his fix. 😉

6. Is there a working title for this novel, and can we read more about it?

So far, there are 3 books published in MASTER:

Crimson (#1) – Originally published in 2009, revised edition published in 2013. Winner of Best eBook in the Hollywood Book Festival Awards 2009.

Luna (#2) & Naomi (#3) – Both published in 2014.

I’m currently working on Deux (#4). There are two more books planned for the series after Deux.

Here is the link to my Amazon author page: http://www.amazon.com/Jane-Bled/e/B002KMVDYS

You can read a variety of reviews of MASTER on my Goodreads (https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/2899955.Jane_Bled).

I tweet every day (http://www.twitter.com/janebled) and often update my Facebook page (http://www.facebook.com/janebled).

I’m working on revamping my personal website ATM. Hope to have to all shiny sometime this summer.

7. When can we expect the books to be published?

Deux releases on Kindle July 28th, 2014. Maybe I’m not supposed to get excited about my own book, but I’m seriously having a blast with it. It’s definitely my new favorite. 😉

Thank you so much, Joy! You are wonderful. ❤

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I had a conversation the other day with a client, about Father’s Day. I told him how I felt about Mother’s day as a holiday. Explaining it makes me laugh that we are celebrating the fact that a woman gave it up and got knocked up. He started laughing, and I started thinking (not a good thing for me to do.) I decided that instead of saying “Happy Father’s Day to people.” I was going to tell men this year “Happy Mother Fucker’s Day,” because in my mind it totally made sense.

He has to go all technical on me, and was like “well they aren’t technically a mother fucker, until you get them pregnant.” After turning it over in my head, I realized he was in fact right. So I started trying to work it out. “Happy Fuck a Woman into a Mother day,” “Happy Impregnation Day,” “Good Job You Got Some Day,” “Happy Becoming a Mother Fucker Day.”

None of them worked the way I wanted them.  So, screw semantics my ass is sticking with “Happy Mother Fucker’s Day,” to all you awesome fathers out there.

I am lucky enough to be surrounded by amazing men that stepped up to raise their children. My Father worked his ass off, next to my Mom, in order to give us everything we needed. He was always there to push me when I needed that shove to be the best I could be, and for some reason seems to be proud of what I have become. Thanks Dad. My Grandpa had nine kids (holy shit nine kids) and six of them were girls.  He was truly the greatest man I have ever known. He was my Superman, and you will learn more about him closer to the 4th of July. My other Grandpa was a quiet man, but he was always good for sneaking us candy when my Grandma wasn’t looking. Last but not least is Jm, he fought tooth and nail to get custody of his oldest son. He was knocked down so many times, but never gave up. His son being his only concern. You are amazing Jm, and T, C, and B will be a better men because of you. I have many other men that are great fathers in my life, my uncles, friends, nephews, and clients.  You all are doing great jobs, thumbs up Mother Fucker’s.

Here is to you Dad “Happy Mother Fucker’s Day, I love you.”

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