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This is a my story of how I ended up in Facebook Jail. I didn’t realize how many people have similar stories, but this is mine.

Let’s start from the beginning….

I met Mr. Facebook years ago. I was a stunned by Mr. Facebook’s good looks. His dazzling blue eyes (get it? Facebook’s logo is blue)and his immense social media presence. I wanted to be a part of Mr. Facebook’s tribe so I timidly joined in.

Wanting to be in the Facebook family I hastily checked the, I Agree, button on the large contract that was thrust in my face. Admittedly, I didn’t read the fine details on Mr. Facebook’s firm rules of conduct. Even if I did I would have still signed on.

Mr. Facebook lured me in. Asking me about my day. Asking me what I was thinking. He encouraged me to share pictures of my loved ones, of my ups and downs, and allowed me to connect with people in his tribe so easily it was mind boggling.

Throughout our relationship I started to notice that Mr. Facebook had some dominant tendencies. There were times he would hide my pictures and my posts. He also was known to hide my friends posts from me as well. It started to get really fishy when Mr. Facebook asked me for money in order to show my posts to the people who would enjoy them the most.

Mr. Facebook isn’t alone in his reign of control. He employees ugly smelly trolls to search for things that Mr. Facebook would deem wrong in his pristine little community.

On Halloween I felt the full extent of Mr. Facebook’s wrath. I posted a picture of a weenie dressed as a ghost.

 

No longer was I in Mr. Facebook’s good graces. No longer did he want to know what was on my mind.I was summoned into Mr. Facebook’s lair to receive my sentence. His right hand man pulled me into the room and threw me on the floor scoffing at me in disgust. I’m not positive, but I think Mr. Facebook’s henchman’s name was the notorious Grammar Nazi.

Mr. Facebook came in wearing low slung jeans and no shirt (a la Christian Grey style) The troll that turned me in was lurking in the shadows to remain anonymous. Only their putrid smell was present.

“What should we do with her?” Grammar Nazi hissed kicking me with his steel-toed boot.

“It was just a joke. The weenie was covered. There are worse posts than that. Hell, look at the nasty political posts, and pictures of abused animals,” I cried wheezing on the floor.

“Silence,” Mr. Facebook roared. “Solitary confinement for four days.”

I opened my mouth to fight for my right to publish what I wanted to on my own account. To explain I was a grown woman that had grown out of time-out. Before anything could leave my mouth, Grammar Nazi stuffed a ball gag in it.

I was hefted up and dragged down a dark dank hall kicking and screaming. I heard Mr. Facebook and the troll cackling over my gurgled cries.

Grammar Nazi pulled me through a cement room where women of all shapes and sizes were pressed against the wall throwing him the evil eye. A single light bulb hung in the middle of the damp room. Before being thrown into a tiny room in the corner, Grammar Nazi wrapped my wrists in thick black tape behind my back. He forcefully pushed me into the little room and locked the door, telling me he would be back in four days.

Tears raced down my face, running around the ball gag. The salt coating my tongue.

“Psst, don’t cry doll,” a woman whispered to me.

Even though I was locked in a little room, I was still able to see the people surrounding me. My eyes locked on a woman with a sad smile trying to soothe me.

“We’re all in here because we did something to piss off Mr. Facebook. I’m Sydnee by the way.”

My eyes looked down at her trying to figure out what she did wrong. She must have been able to read my face, because you answered my silent question.

“I liked too many things. Mr. Facebook took away my ability to like anything for three days. I get my thumbs back tomorrow.”

My eyes widened in horror when I she raised her hands up so I could see them, and noticed her thumbs were taped to her hands.

“It’s not so bad. I could have been, Greta.” She pointed to a woman trapped behind a glass partition. Her hands were pressed against the glass as she stared longingly at the women in the room. “Greta,joined too many groups too fast for Mr. Facebook’s liking. She can’t join a group for seven days. Poor girl.”

The woman shook her head as she pointed at another lady leaning against the wall. “That’s Susan.”

The woman Sydnee was pointing at raised her hand in a wave. Half of her fingers were taped down at the knuckles, her thumbs visible.

“Susan posted too many posts for her book. Mr. Facebook took away her ability to post. She can still like things and comment on others posts.”

My mind spun as I looked around at the women stuck in the jail cell. There were so many all of them stifled in different ways, because they did something to anger Mr. Facebook.

Now as I sit here in Mr. Facebook’s jail. I watch other people post pictures and jokes and have no means of communicating with them.

Be CAUTIOUS of Mr. Facebook’s rules, or you can end up in jail.
AND

BEWARE OF THE TROLLS. THEY LURK ABOUT EVERYWHERE………

Hello,

Remember me?

Yeah, me neither.

I have been telling myself that I need to write a blog post. I guess I’m finally taking my advice and doing it. I’ve become rather bossy inside my head.

Life has decided to give me a big middle finger.

I’m going to try and make this short, and see where it gets me. My kids are also on fall break. What does that mean? It means I’m secretly writing this on my phone hoping to get through it before someone gets hungry or hurt.

Aug. 21st I went and preformed at the Hollywood Improv. I was trying to juggle everything so blogging kind of went on the back burner. Also I had a book coming out Sept. 13th that I was getting ready for.

How was your set, you ask…

https://youtu.be/TGEOSsFCo1k

It was amazing. The audience seemed receptive to my brand of Jackassness. I’m pretty sure I floated off the stage.

That was on a Sat. Three days later the foundation I was firmly standing on shook. I’m still trying to recover my footholds and feel secure in day to day life 

I received a text from my dad saying that my mom…MY MOM…had a stroke. If you have been one if my loyal followers you would know how special my mom is to me. She is the one I take to Halestorm. She is the one I word vomit all my problems to 

My dad is the worst at relaying information. Hell, he’s the worst at answering the phone. I’m pretty sure when he sent me the text he pressed send looked down at the electronic rectangle, shrugged, thought I don’t need this any longer, and chucked it into a magical ocean that appeared to take the only form of communication I had with him. Suffice it to say it was the longest three hour drive of my life.

When I got to the ER my mom could only say Hi and I love you. She kept repeating it over and over again, while internally I was begging myself not to have a complete break down.

In the ICU she was only allowed to have two visitors. I convinced my dad and brother to go get some rest. Here is the thing about ICU they don’t want you to stay. I had one hard chair and nothing else. It didn’t matter I wasn’t leaving her.

That night she was woke up every hour. I was with her throughout the whoke thing. It was also the night she looked at me and said, “I love you, Joy” then turned aroud and corrected herself to,  “I love you, Sissy.” Yeah, the tears flowed.

The second night they realized I wasn’t leaving and a nice nurse brought me a blanket and pillow. 

My mom had a stroke that was caused by a clot breaking free from an aneurysm. Aneurysms run in my family. My grandma and aunt had one both at 56. (in about 10 years I suppose I’ll go get checked) Her aneurysm didn’t bleed or burst. It just had a piece break off. Of course my mom doesn’t do anything half assed. She had a huge aneurysm in the front of her brain in the middle of where the artery branches. 

She had surgery where an amazing surgeon and team placed a coil in the aneurysm and two stints on each side. 

I’ve never understood people wearing sports jerseys, but I can tell you I would proudly wear a jersey with her surgeons name on the back. Also her PT, Norman. He was a PT god, I watched him use PNF stretching where she moved her leg for the first time. He also let me do the PNF on her. Yeah, always the teachers pet. Or at least my mom teased me of that. 

Keeping myself busy in the hospital

Every day my mom improved. She was in the hospital for a month. I’m so proud of her. She is now home. She can walk without her walker ( I named it, Paul) She still gets frustrated, but it is amazing to see her get better and stronger every day.

 

Also during that time I pushed my book release back to Sept. 27th. I worked my ass off to get everything done but I had a lot on my plate. 

I made teasers and banners of my beautiful book cover. I ordered paperbacks for the signing I have on Oct. 22nd. On my release date I was so damn excited. Until around 11 o’clock when I got a message asking if I meant to spell Survivng wrong.

Nope

No

I sure did not

I looked at that damn cover over a thousand times and not once did I recognize it was wrong. 

Ughhhh

I called my printer but it was too late to find out of theg had been printed yet. The awesome customer service lady said she would email me if she was able to pause the shipping. Imagine my hysterical laughter when she sent me my tracking number. 

I owned up to it live on Facebook. Explaining that Surviing Faith paperbacks will be at the signing because I didn’t have time to order another set.

Readers were supportive and understanding. Some even saying they wanted the misspelled cover. The cover is now fixed so any other books I order will be spelled correctly.

So that has been my life lately. I’m still crusing along. I have a paperback giveaway going on right now. To enter all you have to do is add a review of Surviving Faith to amazon. I’ll pick the winner live at the author by the beach signing Oct. 22Nd. Also keep an eye out for the costume I’ll be wearing. 

Hollywood Improv

So one year ago I went to Vegas. I went to support my friend Rebecca Fisher in her first author signing. This was also the trip that I met an amazing person(s). Rebecca’s table was across for Kristen, her PA Dayna, and next to them was Mary Catherine Gebhard.
The trip a year ago https://itsjoysworld.net/2015/04/14/vegas-or-bust/
We hit it off immediately. These were the girls that I ended up spending the rest of the week with.
Kristen was super supportive of Breaking Faith. This was before I was convinced that I was even going to publish Breaking Faith. Kristen felt that if I had a cover I would maybe be more inclined to publish.
She was amazing and I was a pain in the ass, but she found the cover for Breaking Faith. Honestly, she also made the covers for Surviving Faith and Becoming Faith. I know what those look like. Sorry had to rub that in.
Breaking Faith has been an adventure for me. Kristen helped me with everything. She was seriously as patient with me as a kindergarten teacher. She held my hand (through the phone) and helped me with everything.
Kristen gave me faith in humanity. Kristen along with all the other amazing indies helped me get through something very near and dear to me. She posted that this was around one year since we met. I wanted to write this post to tell her how much I appreciate everything she has done for me. If you loved Breaking Faith then you should be thanking Kristen, because if it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t have published.
So this is my Thank you, Kristen.
If you haven’t heard of Kristen her links are below. I highly suggest checking her out. You will not be disappointed.
https://www.facebook.com/AuthorKristenHope/?fref=ts
http://www.amazon.com/Kristen-Hope-Mazzola/e/B00H85N5QQ/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1459828588&sr=8-1

Title: I Am Atlas
Book: 1
Series: The Playing God Series
Author: Ella Emerson
Cover Designer: Redbird Designs
Book Manager: Olivia Howe
Publisher: Booktrope
Releases: November 20th

Blurb:

Powerful, wealthy, wildly handsome
Atlas has it all: successful company, stunning penthouse, and all the
women and fun he could want. But when he meets the brilliant,
graceful and mesmerizing Gwen, he is thunderstruck and wants to go to
great lengths to have her, even if it means breaking his own rules
and baring his secret soul.

When his livelihood is threatened by a
competing rival, he must prepare for a corporate battle. But, with
Gwen at his side he knows he will not lose.

But, what if she isn’t who he thought
she was? What if nothing is as it seems?

Will Atlas lose everything?
How far is one man willing to go for
the woman he loves?  

About The Author:

Ella Emerson lives in Florida with her husband and three wonderful children. When she isn’t writing you can find her watching movies or playing games with
her children. She loves to read, write and eat pizza. A true lover of the beach, she enjoys the sun, surf, sand and sea. She also is a huge fan of the
cinema and enjoys crazy 80’s chick flicks. She was raised a military brat, and has seen her fair share of the world. She loves using her own experiences
and turning them into lovely romantic tales.

In high school she discovered her love for reading, and even had one of her poems published in a national magazine. She continues to read, write, review
and hopefully she can become an inspiration to her own children, as well as others.

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Author Links:

Sign up for Ella Emerson’s newsletter: http://eepurl.com/1DTeX

Come and Follow her on Bloglovin:http://www.bloglovin.com/ellaemerson

Teasers:

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Nine authors (including me) have got together and wrote nine short stories to get you in the holiday spirit. 100% of proceeds will be donated to To Write Love on Her Arms, a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide.You ma donate if and when you choose by either sending a money order or check to:TWLOHA Inc.PO Box 2203Melbourne, FL 32902(Feel free to send a copy of the anthology if you’d like!)If you prefer to donate online, you may do so here.

You can add it to you TBR here

Of if you are a blog you can sign up for the release here

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Esmerelda Tussaud was born with the ability to talk to spirits.

Jake Delassixe loved her the moment he saw her sipping chocolate milk through a straw at his grandma’s bar.

Jake didn’t think anything could tear them apart, especially after they endured the cruelty of high school. Esmeralda proved him wrong when she left him, on the night of their graduation after his proposal. With nothing tethering him to New Orleans, Jake moved to New York to revamp an old bar his grandma gifted to him.

Now things are starting to happen in his bar. Things that only Esmeralda can help him with. As Esmeralda helps Jake rid his bar of unwanted specters, she also raises the love that Jake thought was dead.

Can Jake forgive her?

Will she be banished from his heart like the ghosts in his bar?

cj anthology
Being the center of attention isn’t exactly my favorite thing in the world. Being the center of attention at this holiday awards party, when the guy who royally screwed me over this past summer is in the room watching me ranks even lower than that.

My ideal month-long holiday break will be spent trying to avoid eye contact with the infuriatingly still-sexy Landon and all his pompous ass friends, while I instead seek out Finn. He seems nice, normal, and cute, and his parents own the best ski lodge around.

These are my intentions, but sometimes the best-laid plans become unraveled, and while I will try not to become too tangled up in drama on what is supposed to be a relaxing Christmas break, I just may end up unwrapped.

anthology casey

Rocking Around the Christmas Tree:
When Becca drags Felicity to the top of a mountain to celebrate Christmas, Felicity humors her. When Becca and her boyfriend Will include his pal Eric in the plans, Felicity still promises to make the best of it. Who would’ve figured that Felicity would meet somebody who’s actually kind of okay while there? Definitely not her.
Is Felicity really ready to let someone in?

anthology cj

Lights of Pemberley by Addison Kline

Jocelyn York is not prepared to celebrate the Christmas holidays. With many presents still to buy, a tree still to decorate and travel plans to make, Jocelyn’s to-do list in a mile long. Add to the top the seemingly insurmountable grief from learning that her husband Grant, an infantryman for Her Majesty’s Army, was killed in action just six months ago, you can safely guess that Jocelyn is not in a joyous spirit.

Andrew Barrington has been honorably discharged from the army, and is re-entering civilian life for the first time in seventeen years after a serious injury has rendered him unfit for active duty. Coming home with a promise from his best friend who was killed in action, Andrew has a task ahead of him: Return Grant York’s dog tags to his widow, Jocelyn, along with a final letter. Andrew considers this his final mission; a duty that he must fulfill. The last thing he expects is to fall for his best friend’s widow. As these two broken souls collide under the lights of Pemberley, their hearts must decide if their common bond with bring them together or tear them apart.

anthology ella

The Holiday Couple….by Ella Emerson The Holiday Couple
Gavin McDermott has had a rough couple of years. He met a girl, who ended up falling for his kid brother, and then his mother died. Things were not working out quite as Gavin had hoped for his future. With the holidays approaching, he is invited back to his childhood home to spend time with his brother, the girl that got away, and his new niece.
Not wanting to appear to be a failure in love, Gavin gets the idea to bring a “fake” girlfriend home, only problem…who?
Holly Mathis is having a rough time during the holidays. Her mother and step-father are on vacation and Holly is drowning in bills. Her sexy, neighbor stops by one evening and asks her to fake being his girlfriend for the holiday. Appalled, Holly refuses, but when Gavin offers her the one thing she most desperately needs, she finally relents. Only problem is, they hate each other and have hated each other for years.

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CHRISTMAS AT CROSS PURPOSES BY P.MATTERN
“A fierce fire of attraction rekindles from the embers to heat up the holidays”
Cami Blake and Reno Fortuna fell in love too fast and too young. Cami’s disapproving and wealthy family forced her to give up Reno and enter into an early and disastrous first marriage that ended in divorce.
Four years later a chance encounter reconnects the two and Cami realizes that she has never forgotten her ‘first’—but can she come to terms with the fact that Reno’s successful business goes against all her strongly held beliefs?

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anthology oliva

7 Days of Christmas: Alicia Hanson is a very single woman whose life revolves around her job at The National Gazette. Every day is like a broken record on repeat… Until she meets Cole Castello— a wealthy and handsome man who tries to restore Alicia’s holiday spirit. Can he pull her away from work long enough to enjoy the Christmas agenda? Can the holiday season bring two people together who are so utterly different?

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eb hood

Melabeth

Melanie Dare is a teenage girl. Drugs and abuse by her parents change all that. She is raped and murdered and finds herself awake in a new decade. Melanie becomes Melabeth the vampire, and she is thrust into events outside of her control. Meeting a small circle of friends – not all who can be trusted – she finds herself obsessed with revenge against her killers… but along the way finds love. Her battle for revenge has terrible, unintended consequences, and she will question, who, and what she is. Can her love survive her need for revenge? This is the first part of a three part series about forgiveness.

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jen ponce

The Bazaar

Devany Miller’s job as a victim’s advocate roots her in reality as firmly as a person can be, which makes the offer of ‘magic sugar’ from a gorgeous salesman at a psychic fair all the more fantastic. The sugar, he tells her, will allow her to visit the exclusive vendors tucked away in the shadows beyond his tent. Indulging in fancy, she takes a taste and ventures into what she figures is a tourist trap. Then the screams begin and Devany is yanked violently into a world of butchered humans, of witches who make foolish deals with demons, and of spiders that use human skins as camouflage for their assassinations.

Devany’s normal life begins to crumble into madness as she struggles to stay alive. Her marriage falls apart. And of course, there’s the little matter of the demon who has laid claim to her, and the powerful creature that wants to take her apart piece by piece to taste her soul. Despite her fear, Devany has children to protect, and she can’t sit idly by while monsters in the guise of people drag innocents to their deaths.

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Julie Nicholls

Fallen Angels

DO YOU WANT A STORY YOU CAN’T PUT DOWN?
Filled with plots, secrets, and characters you’ll fall in love with together with sizzling steamy bedroom scenes?
Demon Within should be on your ‘to-read’ list. Why? Because it has all of the above.

A former slave who is now a feared warlord, a princess, a king, angels and fallen-angels make this an epic romance you will love from the start.

When the Seraphim ruled the heavens, a vain angel dared to risk everything for the love of a human and paid the price of eternal damnation.
Sold into slavery when he was six years old, Kai has never known love. As he reached maturity, his slavers realized Kai was no ordinary man. There was something else lurking inside. An uncontrollable force which feeds on his rage and anger giving him the advantage when thrown into the fighting pits of Darkmide to fight for his life. Here he learns that killing brings rewards when after each win he is given a female slave to sate his sexual needs.
After years of many victories and a life of pain under the lash, in a bloody battle Kai breaks free from his chains and releases all the slaves, and raging a war against the slavers, he kills them all. Closing down the goldmines in Darkmide, he vows no one else will die doing the backbreaking work of harvesting gold.
His deeds are famed throughout the lands, and after four years, he settles in Blackhill, a town not far from Darkmide, where he rules with a firm hand.
King Garlan from Brightstone, afraid of losing his throne to a threat from the Highlands, and hearing of Kai’s formidable reputation, sends his envoy to request an alliance with the infamous warrior. The agreement is to offer his daughters hand in marriage, Princess Eloise, in exchange for Kai’s support. Kai instantly falls for the beautiful princess and soon discovers he’s not the only one with a secret.
The princess holds a power gifted to females on her mother’s side by the seraphim. Controlled all of her life by her father and brother, Eloise is timid and shy, but she soon learns to overcome these traits.
The Highland Lord arrives in Blackhill and he meets with Kai and the king. Many secrets are revealed which bring answers to Kai’s lineage, though stubbornness causes him to discard them as false.
When an act of betrayal causes the alliance to break, Kai rejects Eloise. Stubborn and running away from confrontation, Kai is about to lose everything, and only his trusted friend, Sabe, shows him that his fears of dying alone will come to fruition unless he admits his need for love. Submitting to his needs, Kai and Eloise unite and the alliance forms once more.
A connection between Kai and a fallen-angel, who is systematically destroying all the nearby towns, is revealed, bringing the two of them together in a battle that could kill everyone in Blackhill and all those Kai cares for. He attempts to fight the fallen angel, but he is badly injured. In a twist of fate, Eloise is the key to aiding Kai and his friends to defeat the vengeful fallen angel.
Can Eloise save Kai and the town of Blackhill from the destruction of the fallen angel? What does the future hold for Kai?
Join Kai and his friends on an epic journey which takes you in to a world of angels and fallen angels, plots, twists, and love and passion.

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K.M.

VAMPYR

Vampires are alive and well in the Big Easy. In the modern world of forensics, technology, and security cameras everywhere, vampires are now forced to live in secret. In this new age where vampires have evolved into gentle predators mainly depending on alternative methods for acquiring blood, vampire bars have risen in popularity. Owned by a former rock star turned vampire, Quinn Forrester, Vampyr is New Orleans’ most popular venue. Aside from being the French Quarter’s coolest music club, it is also a secret vampire bar serving the finest quality human blood to its vampire clientele. The cryptic alley next to it seduces the most delectable humans just itching to quench a vampire’s thirst. Welcome to Vampyr!

SONG OF THE VAMPIRE: Successful rock star, Quinn Forrester, isolates himself after being turned to a vampire. Eighteen years later, a chance meeting with the daughter he abandoned as a baby the night he was turned shakes his lonely, tormented world.

UNDER A BOURBON STREET MOON: Quinn and his vampire lover seem to have the perfect romance, but their relationship is put to the test when a beautiful mortal woman from his past and an adorable country singer, who has just arrived from Nashville with her own connection to Quinn, enter his world.

MASQUERADE: Quinn has his hands full as the owner of all three vampire bars in New Orleans. As he gets closer to his new attractive young personal assistant, the successful entrepreneur also must deal with his unique blended family: a vampire daughter, a mortal daughter who sees dead people, a spiritually connected vampire ex-girlfriend who is her mentor and a deceased ex-wife that just won’t stay dead. Is his mansion big enough?

K.M.’S

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amos

Crimson Midnight

They say London is the city that never sleeps. Man, you have no idea…

A new job, a new life and a new home, Rose has left the pain of the past behind. But if she thinks she’s going to have it easy she’s in for a shock. There’s Roman for starters, a complication with a capital C. With the racing pulses and the x-rated thoughts, she can barely keep it together. And then he decides to drop a bombshell. It’s the domino effect alright, because hot on the heels of his revelation come a few unpleasant ones of her own. Rose discovers that there is a darker side to London, an ancient secret, a world that she belongs to and one that could get her killed.

Question is, can she keep it together long enough to kick danger’s arse?

A kick ass dark urban fantasy romance, filled with moon praising vampires, chic corporate werewolves, bar tending warlocks and much much more…

INTERVIEW WITH AMOS AND CASSIDY

So tell us a little about the Crimson series, what do you have in store for your readers?
Cassidy: Well, the crimson series is a dark urban fantasy with a little of everything, suspense, mystery, humour and romance. We wanted to create a huge world with several characters the readers could connect and fall in love with. We wanted a mix of supernatural characters; werewolves, vampires, witches and warlocks.
Amos: There’s never a shortage of action and WTF moments, the characters are always surprising us.
Cassidy: Aside from that we don’t want to give too much away, but we promise you a thrill ride you won’t forget.
How many books are planned in the series?
Amos: we originally planned for three but then the story just grew so now we have four planned. The last book will be released 27th August 2015
Cassidy: It doesn’t end there though because we have more stories to tell in the Crimson world. We’re working on a secret project which we plan to release in 2016, and I’ll let you into another secret…if you hop on over to our website you can pick up a free copy of our latest prequel novella Raven’s Call! Just go to http://amoscassidyauthor.com/

BOOKS AVAILABLE IN THE CRIMSON SERIES:
Crimson Midnight
Crimson Darkness
Crimson Dawn
Crimson Chaos – out 27th August 2015

Prequel Novella
Raven’s Call

Mature content 18+

Crimson Series ebook Categories
werewolves vampires and witches
urban fantasy London
werewolves vampires mystery series
vampire mystery thriller series
New adult dark urban fantasy series
New adult urban fantasy series

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