Posts Tagged ‘#love’

This will be a hodgepodge post. I’m sitting here waiting for the next batch of whoopie pies to cook, and I started to think about tomorrow. Really think about what I’m thankful for, and the answer that came to me was so damn cliche. 

I’m thankful for my family and friends. But this year I’m super, uber, ginormously thankful for my mom.

If you keep up with my posts you’ll know that my mom had a stroke this year. Out of the blue, and so sudden it knocked me down. I never ever thought something would happen to her. She is the strongest person I know. 

If you didn’t figure it out, I’m a huge ball of anxiety with a heaping side of neurotic. Every night, I go over what I’m going to do the next day. When my day is thrown off or doesn’t go according to plan I have a HARD time adjusting. Change freaks me out. Things I can’t control freak me out.

Now that I’ve confessed that you can imagine how much my world went into a tailspin when my mom, my rock, had a stroke. I hadn’t even thought to plan that would happen. 

My mom always has a way of going with the flow. To this day and beyond I wish I could be more like her. She is amazing. She never seemed to have anything faze her. Why couldn’t I have inherited that gene?

Even with all my weird and sometimes (all the time) over exaggeration my mom accepted me. I never worried about her love faltering, even on my worst of freak outs. The thought of losing her tore me up inside. I couldn’t lose the one person that truly understands me. Who won’t turn away from me because my brain never stops and I want everything to work out the way I created it in my imagination. Who understands my need to stress about the most minute thing. 

Yes, I know that sounds selfish. I don’t care she’s mine. 

When my mom was in the hospital her sisters were there. My mom has 6 sisters and 2 brothers. Even with some strain they were there for me when it counted. And for that I’m thankful. My aunts kept saying that it could be worse and she was lucky she pulled through ( there was some religious talk, but I’m glossing over that because I don’t want that argument. We do not see eye to eye on that, but I digress.) I know they werw trying to make me feel better, but I didn’t want to hear it. I wanted my mom safe and healthy. I didn’t need this scarr to appreciate her. My mom is my best friend. Hell, look at my Halestorm posts. I’ve taken my mom to two concerts. We have so much fun together.  When we see each other we stay up until all hours in the morning talking. Het stroke was just a cruel twist that I could have happily lived without.

I’ve been feeling like I’m on the verge of going insane since August 23. She had to have surgery again yesterday. I didn’t know about it until my dad told me as she wad going into the OR. Talk about throwing my whole day off its axis. They added more coils andd another stint, and she is doing amazing, but…IT WASN’T PLANNED…

So this rant was just to show how thankful I am to have my mom. I wouldn’t have survived with another mom. She is my soul mate. She was supposed to guide me through this life, and I still need her.

Now because I don’t need anyone butthurt ….

I’m also very thankful for…..

my dad. He is the best grandpa I could ask for. He gave me my crazy brain. I realized this even more when we were up all night in the ICU while my mom slept doing crossword puzzles.

My brother for hugging me when I wanted to scream

Johnboy for being the best hubby ever. He is seriously the most supportive person in the whole world. When I told him about the books and comedy he pushed me to do it. I could keep going. He is the best.

My boys for driving me crazy and making me proud. They taught me so much. Especially how to go with the flow. I’m still trying to learn. They make me laugh and I adore them 

My second set of parents. They have helped and supported me. I can’t express how much they mean to me. They have given me a safe place to become myself, and my successes could not have happened without them.

My sisters for being there for me. For letting me pretend I’m a rebel and standing behind me being the true rebels. 

My niece. They are amazing. I wish I could have been as strong as they are when I was their age. They are going to make this world a better place with their strength 

My nephews for showing me there will be good men in this world. They will make someone so happy and I know they will help me with my book characters.

My friends. They have been so supportive also. I can’t believe how many people I have in my corner. 

Thank you everyone.

 Hug your loved ones tight and let them know you love them….

July 14th, my birthday. I went live and embarassed the hell out of myself. In Surviving Faith I wrote a song. Now when I wrote the song had the JackholeS in mind. So vocals in my head were done by Kill. Van would be on drums and D and Jet would have bass and guitar. 

The song in my head had some awesome solos in it to display the talent of all the band members. So me. A woman singing it doesn’t do it justice. Also I don’t have the greatest singing voice. So be nice when watching. I screwed up one of the lasr verses and my youngest son walked in at the end. I haven’t watched it yet either, but I heard at some point it glitches and my eyelids start fluttering. 

It took us three times to get Facebook to cooperate with us. It kept kicking me off. Most likely because it hated my singing voice 

Broken Faith

So one year ago I went to Vegas. I went to support my friend Rebecca Fisher in her first author signing. This was also the trip that I met an amazing person(s). Rebecca’s table was across for Kristen, her PA Dayna, and next to them was Mary Catherine Gebhard.
The trip a year ago https://itsjoysworld.net/2015/04/14/vegas-or-bust/
We hit it off immediately. These were the girls that I ended up spending the rest of the week with.
Kristen was super supportive of Breaking Faith. This was before I was convinced that I was even going to publish Breaking Faith. Kristen felt that if I had a cover I would maybe be more inclined to publish.
She was amazing and I was a pain in the ass, but she found the cover for Breaking Faith. Honestly, she also made the covers for Surviving Faith and Becoming Faith. I know what those look like. Sorry had to rub that in.
Breaking Faith has been an adventure for me. Kristen helped me with everything. She was seriously as patient with me as a kindergarten teacher. She held my hand (through the phone) and helped me with everything.
Kristen gave me faith in humanity. Kristen along with all the other amazing indies helped me get through something very near and dear to me. She posted that this was around one year since we met. I wanted to write this post to tell her how much I appreciate everything she has done for me. If you loved Breaking Faith then you should be thanking Kristen, because if it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t have published.
So this is my Thank you, Kristen.
If you haven’t heard of Kristen her links are below. I highly suggest checking her out. You will not be disappointed.
https://www.facebook.com/AuthorKristenHope/?fref=ts
http://www.amazon.com/Kristen-Hope-Mazzola/e/B00H85N5QQ/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1459828588&sr=8-1

Yes…I went to The Comedy Store again. I absolutely love that place. I’m telling you one day I will be on that stage making people groan from my raunchy humor. It will happen.
We were supposed to go see Anthony Jeselnik, but JM bought the wrong tickets. So instead of going into the Main room at 8pm we were scheduled to go to the Original Room at 9pm.
JM was so upset that he ruined Valentine’s day. Seriously I was out of the house I didn’t care. With the extra time we decided to walk to Pink Dot to get something to drink. Now I had been fighting a migraine so before we left I took a migraine pill. (this will mean something later in this story) I’m not a big drinker. Honestly, I have a couple drinks show my boobs and pass out, but I wanted to have fun so I decided to let loose and hopefully the girls would stay put.
I bought a little bottle of vodka and poured it into my diet Pepsi. We went back to the Comedy Store and people watched while I sipped on my drink. JM left me to go pee so I did what anyone would do I made friends with the bouncer. I was asking him what I needed to do to sign up for open mic. We talked about what I needed to do, and we are now Facebook friends. Yay me.
JM came back and soon my drink was empty, and my bladder was full. When I came out of the bathroom Anthony Jeselnik was standing right in front of me. I debated for a second or two if I should fangirl decided against it and went back to JM. By coincidence he followed me to the front of the building.
I walked up to JM and told him that Anthony Jeselnik was behind me. JM looks over my shoulder and looks at me saying, “he is looking at you. What did you say?” It makes me sad how hard I had to convince him I was good and didn’t say a thing.
So Anthony made his round probably looking at the sold out line and went back behind the building.
Flashfoward it is now close to 1 in the morning. I have dutifully finished my two drink minimum. Now my bladder is full again. I stood up and realized I was buzzed. I didn’t take in the fact that I had taken a migraine pill earlier that day. I was standing in line doing the pee-pee dance when one of the waitresses told me I could use the Main Room bathroom. I was so afraid I was going to get lost, but I made it safe and sound.
While I was walking to a stall I saw someone out of the corner of my eye. I started to tell them “I’m sorry” for cutting them off and came face to face with my reflection.
Yes..I was talking to a mirror. That was when I realized I was more tipsy than I thought. I don’t know about men but when you have been drinking more than you usually do women will actually get board while peeing. While I was sitting down laughing at how stupid I am another woman walked in yelling that she had just got kicked out of the men’s bathroom. She was pissed (pun intended) because she was just going to pee in the urinal. This made me feel better because I may have been talk to your reflection in the mirror drunk but I wasn’t pee in a urinal drunk.
The rest of the night went by with tons of laughs. One comic dubbed me Big Tits McGee.
I just realized most of this post was bathroom related. Sorry about that.
I hope you all had a fabulous Valentine’s day.

In October I took my mom to see my favorite band Halestorm. I decided I was going to throw a signed copy of Breaking Faith up onstage. This of course happened when I fangirled the fuck out of her in June. Here is that story
https://itsjoysworld.net/2015/06/15/i-hugged-lzzy-hale/
I made my mom stand in front of the sign with the book. Don’t mind her hand she fell at a waterpark because they didn’t properly mark a dip. She is slowly getting some use out of it.

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My mom is my biggest fan. She thinks I can do no wrong. That being said she made sure to tell everyone what I was planning to do. That woman is a phenomenal saleswoman. My kindle sales were up just from the people she was talking to. She had people pulling up there Kindle app on their phone and downloading Breaking Faith.
After standing in line for a couple hours we were finally let in. As we were herded inside the Rainbowroom in Fresno my anxiety skyrocketed. My brain started yelling at me that throwing my book onstage was the worst idea I had ever had (that’s saying something)
I started imagining throwing my book and having it land on the ground never making it to the stage. So it could be swept away with the discarded tickets and empty cups at the end of the night. Or worse making the stage and knocking Lzzy or Joe out. Or worser (I know) hitting the stage and causing a fire.
Ugh.. These thoughts were paralyzing so as Lzzy Joe Josh and Arejay began their acoustic set I stood there holding this damn albatross. People around me were hitting me and whispering in my ear to throw the stupid thing.
The band ended their acoustic set and left the stage as they were getting plugged in. Everyone yelled at me saying I missed my chance.
My anxiety was in full swing. When this happens I shut down and want to just forget my idea. I also didn’t want to ruin my night. I was watching my favorite band play.
When they came back I tried to get into the concert but it is hard to throw your horns \m/\m/ when you are holding a book.
Lzzy launched into their song
I am the fire. I adore this song and the lyrics were just what I needed to push the voices in my head down.
I was still worried about not making it to the stage so while they were taking a break I tapped on a man next to me. He was super tall and he was there with his wife and kids. I figured he was cool and he could toss it over his kids heads without worry of hitting them.
He asked if I wanted him to wait until they came back to the stage. At first I said yes, but then I realized I didn’t want him to have to hold it and hinder his enjoyment so I told him to just toss it then.
He did.
It landed on the stage and slid.
Everyone around me cheered. It was insane like we had all accomplished something together.
Joe picked it up and I almost had a heartattack.

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He asked the guy who threw it if it was his book. Once again everyone around me started screaming and pointing at me. It was surreal. I’m not going to lie I felt like a rockstar.
Joe asked if I wrote it and signed it. I nodded my head with my mouth hanging open.
He said Thank you and put it on LZZY’S keyboard. Holy shit.
When she came out and moved it so she could play I freaked out. Breaking Faith stayed on her keyboard as she serenaded it with one of my favorite songs.

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I’m not sure what happened to it after that. I’m going to hope she has it somewhere and the pages are not being used as toilet paper for a transient but either way it was awesome.

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Nine authors (including me) have got together and wrote nine short stories to get you in the holiday spirit. 100% of proceeds will be donated to To Write Love on Her Arms, a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide.You ma donate if and when you choose by either sending a money order or check to:TWLOHA Inc.PO Box 2203Melbourne, FL 32902(Feel free to send a copy of the anthology if you’d like!)If you prefer to donate online, you may do so here.

You can add it to you TBR here

Of if you are a blog you can sign up for the release here

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Esmerelda Tussaud was born with the ability to talk to spirits.

Jake Delassixe loved her the moment he saw her sipping chocolate milk through a straw at his grandma’s bar.

Jake didn’t think anything could tear them apart, especially after they endured the cruelty of high school. Esmeralda proved him wrong when she left him, on the night of their graduation after his proposal. With nothing tethering him to New Orleans, Jake moved to New York to revamp an old bar his grandma gifted to him.

Now things are starting to happen in his bar. Things that only Esmeralda can help him with. As Esmeralda helps Jake rid his bar of unwanted specters, she also raises the love that Jake thought was dead.

Can Jake forgive her?

Will she be banished from his heart like the ghosts in his bar?

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Being the center of attention isn’t exactly my favorite thing in the world. Being the center of attention at this holiday awards party, when the guy who royally screwed me over this past summer is in the room watching me ranks even lower than that.

My ideal month-long holiday break will be spent trying to avoid eye contact with the infuriatingly still-sexy Landon and all his pompous ass friends, while I instead seek out Finn. He seems nice, normal, and cute, and his parents own the best ski lodge around.

These are my intentions, but sometimes the best-laid plans become unraveled, and while I will try not to become too tangled up in drama on what is supposed to be a relaxing Christmas break, I just may end up unwrapped.

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Rocking Around the Christmas Tree:
When Becca drags Felicity to the top of a mountain to celebrate Christmas, Felicity humors her. When Becca and her boyfriend Will include his pal Eric in the plans, Felicity still promises to make the best of it. Who would’ve figured that Felicity would meet somebody who’s actually kind of okay while there? Definitely not her.
Is Felicity really ready to let someone in?

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Lights of Pemberley by Addison Kline

Jocelyn York is not prepared to celebrate the Christmas holidays. With many presents still to buy, a tree still to decorate and travel plans to make, Jocelyn’s to-do list in a mile long. Add to the top the seemingly insurmountable grief from learning that her husband Grant, an infantryman for Her Majesty’s Army, was killed in action just six months ago, you can safely guess that Jocelyn is not in a joyous spirit.

Andrew Barrington has been honorably discharged from the army, and is re-entering civilian life for the first time in seventeen years after a serious injury has rendered him unfit for active duty. Coming home with a promise from his best friend who was killed in action, Andrew has a task ahead of him: Return Grant York’s dog tags to his widow, Jocelyn, along with a final letter. Andrew considers this his final mission; a duty that he must fulfill. The last thing he expects is to fall for his best friend’s widow. As these two broken souls collide under the lights of Pemberley, their hearts must decide if their common bond with bring them together or tear them apart.

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The Holiday Couple….by Ella Emerson The Holiday Couple
Gavin McDermott has had a rough couple of years. He met a girl, who ended up falling for his kid brother, and then his mother died. Things were not working out quite as Gavin had hoped for his future. With the holidays approaching, he is invited back to his childhood home to spend time with his brother, the girl that got away, and his new niece.
Not wanting to appear to be a failure in love, Gavin gets the idea to bring a “fake” girlfriend home, only problem…who?
Holly Mathis is having a rough time during the holidays. Her mother and step-father are on vacation and Holly is drowning in bills. Her sexy, neighbor stops by one evening and asks her to fake being his girlfriend for the holiday. Appalled, Holly refuses, but when Gavin offers her the one thing she most desperately needs, she finally relents. Only problem is, they hate each other and have hated each other for years.

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CHRISTMAS AT CROSS PURPOSES BY P.MATTERN
“A fierce fire of attraction rekindles from the embers to heat up the holidays”
Cami Blake and Reno Fortuna fell in love too fast and too young. Cami’s disapproving and wealthy family forced her to give up Reno and enter into an early and disastrous first marriage that ended in divorce.
Four years later a chance encounter reconnects the two and Cami realizes that she has never forgotten her ‘first’—but can she come to terms with the fact that Reno’s successful business goes against all her strongly held beliefs?

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7 Days of Christmas: Alicia Hanson is a very single woman whose life revolves around her job at The National Gazette. Every day is like a broken record on repeat… Until she meets Cole Castello— a wealthy and handsome man who tries to restore Alicia’s holiday spirit. Can he pull her away from work long enough to enjoy the Christmas agenda? Can the holiday season bring two people together who are so utterly different?

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