Archive for January, 2016

As some of you know being a stand up comedian is one of my goals in life. I tried it a couple years ago for my birthday and had the time of my life. I have wanted to go back but I haven’t had the opportunity as of yet. Here is the link to that one time

It was my birthday, and I will embarrass myself if I want to!!!!

Weeks ago JM and I found ourselves kidless. When this rare occurrence happens we end up at The Comedy Store on Sunset.
Close to the end of the night Sunset Strip Jesus came in. Glided in? Walked on a really long sandbar? ( I didn’t have the balls to do that joke in front of him)
Anyways…Don Barris was on stage closing us out (the Sam Kinison set) when good ole Jesus struts in. People stopped listening to Don to Snapchat Jesus. Don stopped his set to bring him up onstage to get pictures. Since it was close to Christmas Don asked Jesus what he got for his birthday? His answer was candles. Which was hilarious.
It’s now 2:30 in the morning. On the way out of The Comedy Store I asked Jesus if I could get a picture. This man is huge. Case in point look at my shoulder and my hand. They look miniature.

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Sunset Strip Jesus asked if we come to The Comedy Store often. JM explained every chance we get because I want to pursue comedy. This giant turns to me and says, “let’s here it.”
So this is how I end up at 2:30 in the morning on the sidewalk in front of The Comedy Store on Sunset Strip doing a bit for a man dressed as Jesus.
I was stupid nervous. I tell him the first thing he needs to know about me is I’m a massage therapist. So to make things even more awkward he holds out his gargantuan hand. And what do I do? I start massaging it while I go into my happy ending set. At some point he grabs my hand and I watch as it becomes encompassed in his large hands. This is when I realize I’m getting a handjob by a man dressed as Jesus while talking about jerking someone off. According to JM he knew when this thought went through my head because I stuttered and my ears turned bright red.
Anyways I finished my bit and was told I was funny and should try the open mics. He did say I went too fast, but fuck (one T not two) I was nervous.
I told him I want to do the comedy university, but $470 is not available to me right now. Maybe I should start a kickstarter. Kidding.
So there you go. My Jesus Hand job story.

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So Thursday I was interviewed by Robert Moore for the International Writers Association Podcast.
This is the link to the interview.

http://iwaaudio.podomatic.com/entry/2016-01-24T20_49_18-08_00
I come on about into the podcast.
26 minute mark
I don’t want to listen to it. I have a deep hatred for the sound of my voice. I feel I sound like a 12 year old on crack. I also said amazing, awesome, and great way too many times. I kept telling myself to stop saying those words in my head only to blurt one of them out seconds later. I was laughing in my head every time I let one of those words slip.
Also I tried to mention as many people as I could but I know I missed so many. It was not done intentionally, and I’m sorry. In fact I don’t really remember what I said.
So here you go if you want to have a laugh at my expense. Or you can make it a drinking game. Take a shot when I say awesome amazing or great.

Breaking Faith was awarded Rockstar Romance Debut Author from Backstage Book Blog.
Thank you everyone for your support. Surviving Faith will be published shortly.

Backstage Books

The first of the year always brings about discussions and awards for all the best things of the previous year.   With 2015 being the debut year for Backstage Books, we decided it is a good time to begin another annual tradition, the Best of {Year} Awards.    And, being the first time out, there will be kinks to work out.   And being who we are, we don’t necessarily do things the way anyone else does.   So, the awards will be presented at the rate of one a day instead of just in a list – so we can take some time to talk about the award winner, and why it won.   The large majority of the books will have been published in 2015, but there will be a few exceptions where we just discovered them this year.   And yada, yada, yada – let’s let the awards begin!   (and one more yada…

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