It was my birthday, and I will embarrass myself if I want to!!!!

Posted: July 27, 2014 in Uncategorized

Breaking Faith is currently with my editor, as I have made the revisions that we have discussed. I will be working on the second part, while I the first is in her capable hands. I realized that I have not blogged in quite some time, and I hope you all understand that I am working very hard to get this book out there. So, you can criticize it, and tell me never to write again. (or not)

I had a dream that the police came to my house, and removed all of my technology. They told me that I should never write again, and handed me a stack of pre-filled out cards (birthday, anniversary, thank you…ect) so I would never have to write an original thought again. (yes, I have huge self-esteem issues, but the dream was extremely vivid, so I have a very overactive imagination.)

As most of you know on Twitterverse, and Facebookland I did stand-up comedy for my birthday. This was a bucketlist that I have wanted to do for awhile now. It was awesome, and people actually laughed with, and at me. I was so nervous when I got there, I wanted to chicken out.  JM was supportive in my chickening out, and got yelled at by me for allowing me an out. I gave the guy my five dollar’s for five minutes on stage, and stuck my name in a cup. I was sitting next to JM, trying to stay calm, when a very nice lady comedian (I’m so sorry I forgot your name. I know it started with an S) started to talk to me. She was really nice, and asked me if I wanted her to tell me a joke to calm down. I immediately looked over at JM (with accusing eyes) and asked him why the fuck he wasn’t telling me jokes? She looked at me, and said “You are funny.”

Her joke was “why didn’t the two tampon’s talk to each other?”

I responded, “because they had cotton mouth?”

she started laughing, and reiterating that I would be fine, because I was funny. (the real answer if you want to know was, because they were stuck up bitches.)

We went into the performing area, and I am not going to lie, honestly, there were like ten people there. Two of my clients showed up, to support me.

I was of course the second to be called.

I got on stage, and was shaking. JM told me that I looked all innocent, nervous, and shaking…..and then I opened my mouth, and started spewing some raunchy shit.  He said he looked around, and people were shocked, but then they started laughing. It was awesome. I got the thing recorded, but I can not for the life of me get the DVD to work. I wish I could, because my last couple of jokes were really funny. I have a couple of seconds that my clients recorded on their phone that I have put on YouTube, and I promise when I do it again I will get it recorded.

How was your birthday???? You ask, let me tell you.

JM was gone, and so was everyone else that lives in my house. I was completely alone, and ok with it. I woke up, and lounged around in my jammies. I was going to work on Breaking Faith, but started talking to one of my author friends (Maggie Kaye) that lives near me. She told me that I could not in fact be all alone on my birthday, and told me to get dressed and we were going to lunch. We met (for the first time, and I wasn’t kidnapped) and had an amazing lunch. We ended up talking for three hours. I got home and immediately went back into my jammies. I was sitting at my computer pretending to edit Breaking Faith, when my niece and second mom came in with a fiber-one brownie, with a scoop of ice cream and a candle on it. They sang me happy birthday, and left.  I went back to my pretending, when another friend of mine text me that she was coming over after her spin class with a cupcake, and alcohol.

An hour laterI realized that she wasn’t coming; I went into my kitchen and poured myself a drink Diet Pepsi, and red licorice vodka. (a friend of mine put two airplane sized bottles of vodka into my tip jar after her massage one day) It was really good (I was buzzed instantly. I don’t drink often, and get sloshed quickly.) I was singing incredibly sad songs at the top of my lungs while drinking my vodka laced Pepsi. It was pretty pathetic; I’m not going to lie. I listened to Zzyzx Rd. by Stone Sour like ten times, and I sang it every time. My friend text me later and explained she got sick after spin and went home. After listening to all the sad songs on my phone, I decided I needed sleep. I couldn’t sleep because of the damn caffeine running through my system, so I took a sleeping pill to counteract the caffeine and finally fell asleep around 2:30 in the morning. Happy fucking birthday to me. LOL

P.S, I still haven’t gotten any damn cake!!!!! star


I just realized how random this whole post was, sorry about that. I am now waiting for the cops to come.


  1. Sumedha says:

    Interesting. I shared this with my facebook, Google and twitter. Have a beautiful day…!


  2. […] It was my birthday, and I will embarrass myself if I want to!!!! […]


  3. […] Hand job from Jesus… on It was my birthday, and I will… […]


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