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I was accepted in the Worlds Wittiest Woman Competition in Flappers Burbank. I’m sure they just picked everyone that applied, but I’m taking it and running with it.

The Wittiest Woman Wins Contest Prelim 2
Starring: Riley Silverman

MODCLOTH’S #FASHIONTRUTH, INTIMATE APPAREL, PAJIBA.COM, HUFFINGTON POST , ALL JANE FESTIVAL

November 8th, 2016 at 9:30PM

Flappers Comedy Club Burbank- Yoo Hoo Room
102 East Magnolia, Burbank, CA 91502

My set time is tomorrow Tues. Nov 8th at 9:30. I know it sounds late, but technically it is is 8:30 because I know you haven’t adjusted to the time change yet. Tickets are on sale for $10 up until the event then they go up to $15.

It’s audience picks the winner…SOOOO If you are around and want to see some fabulous lady comics but ultimatetly vote for me, come on down to Burbank. I hope to see you there. I’m super excited this will be the first time I’ve performed since my mom had her stroke and I can’t wait to hold a microphone again. (Don’t worry I practiced my set at an open mic, and several times in the shower)

The show is a five day event with two shows a night. There will be ten winners picked from the show, and they will move onto Nov 28ths final round.

Ahhhhhhhh….I’m so excited. I hope to see you there

Facebook event

Ticket Info

A review for TRANSPARENT. LOVE IT

Addicted to Reviews

41IG4ZfwozLMorley Rivers lived a quiet life until she brought home a portrait of a hottie from the 19th century.
Alexander Brynes had been cursed when his plea to a gypsy went horribly wrong. He was tethered to his portrait, unable to communicate with the people around him, until Morley came along.
Alexander is positive Morley is the key to break his curse. He wasn’t expecting her to break into his heart.
As the curse starts to crack Alexander sheds his invisible state while making his true feelings known.
If they succeed in breaking the spell, Alexander will be sent back to his time on Halloween allowing him to repair the damage his disappearance caused, but at the same time leaving a broken heart in his wake.

My Review: I loved this book. I died laughing so many times. This reminded me a lot of “The Knight in Shining Armor” by…

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A friend of mine pulled me into the ghost writing business. It has been a big adventure and it has allowed me to explore more of my writing ability. I can’t go into details of the books we have been working on, but it has definitely yanked us out of our comfort zones.
The most surprising thing was how much I enjoyed it. We enjoyed it so much that we have decided to expand our ghost writing and create our own business. This is extremely exciting for both of us. We have already had some satisfied customers.
If you are interested, please check out our website.

http://theghostinggals.blogspot.com/p/hire-us_6.html

So one year ago I went to Vegas. I went to support my friend Rebecca Fisher in her first author signing. This was also the trip that I met an amazing person(s). Rebecca’s table was across for Kristen, her PA Dayna, and next to them was Mary Catherine Gebhard.
The trip a year ago https://itsjoysworld.net/2015/04/14/vegas-or-bust/
We hit it off immediately. These were the girls that I ended up spending the rest of the week with.
Kristen was super supportive of Breaking Faith. This was before I was convinced that I was even going to publish Breaking Faith. Kristen felt that if I had a cover I would maybe be more inclined to publish.
She was amazing and I was a pain in the ass, but she found the cover for Breaking Faith. Honestly, she also made the covers for Surviving Faith and Becoming Faith. I know what those look like. Sorry had to rub that in.
Breaking Faith has been an adventure for me. Kristen helped me with everything. She was seriously as patient with me as a kindergarten teacher. She held my hand (through the phone) and helped me with everything.
Kristen gave me faith in humanity. Kristen along with all the other amazing indies helped me get through something very near and dear to me. She posted that this was around one year since we met. I wanted to write this post to tell her how much I appreciate everything she has done for me. If you loved Breaking Faith then you should be thanking Kristen, because if it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t have published.
So this is my Thank you, Kristen.
If you haven’t heard of Kristen her links are below. I highly suggest checking her out. You will not be disappointed.
https://www.facebook.com/AuthorKristenHope/?fref=ts
http://www.amazon.com/Kristen-Hope-Mazzola/e/B00H85N5QQ/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1459828588&sr=8-1

***Dick Pic Gate Update*****

Posted: March 9, 2016 in Uncategorized

****Dick Pic Gate Update****
A male author asked why he never gets any vagina pics. Yesterday I received quite a few dick pics on Twitter. I started to think of why we as women never feel the need to take a vag pic.
My answer is this. We don’t have a constant view of it. I’ll admit like most ladies I’ve taken and sent pictures of my boobs to people. On a day I look down and see I’m having a good boob day I snap a picture and share that shit immediately.
My vagina not so much. I wouldn’t even know what a good vagina day would look like. Is there ever a good angle? Would I know if it looked fat or skinny? No. I have no idea what a flattering vagina pic would even look like.
Guys the only thing I can think to compare it to is your balls. They aren’t in your direct line of site. Your dick is always there on top. Like a bully wrestler who will not let anyone else win. I’ve been face to face with a couple balls and I can tell you I wouldn’t be able to think of a time I would think…look at those balls. They are looking good. Honey you should snap a picture of them.
Not that I have put too much thought in this or anything.
So there you go. My answer to the reason there are so few elusive vag pics out in the world
image

Yes…I went to The Comedy Store again. I absolutely love that place. I’m telling you one day I will be on that stage making people groan from my raunchy humor. It will happen.
We were supposed to go see Anthony Jeselnik, but JM bought the wrong tickets. So instead of going into the Main room at 8pm we were scheduled to go to the Original Room at 9pm.
JM was so upset that he ruined Valentine’s day. Seriously I was out of the house I didn’t care. With the extra time we decided to walk to Pink Dot to get something to drink. Now I had been fighting a migraine so before we left I took a migraine pill. (this will mean something later in this story) I’m not a big drinker. Honestly, I have a couple drinks show my boobs and pass out, but I wanted to have fun so I decided to let loose and hopefully the girls would stay put.
I bought a little bottle of vodka and poured it into my diet Pepsi. We went back to the Comedy Store and people watched while I sipped on my drink. JM left me to go pee so I did what anyone would do I made friends with the bouncer. I was asking him what I needed to do to sign up for open mic. We talked about what I needed to do, and we are now Facebook friends. Yay me.
JM came back and soon my drink was empty, and my bladder was full. When I came out of the bathroom Anthony Jeselnik was standing right in front of me. I debated for a second or two if I should fangirl decided against it and went back to JM. By coincidence he followed me to the front of the building.
I walked up to JM and told him that Anthony Jeselnik was behind me. JM looks over my shoulder and looks at me saying, “he is looking at you. What did you say?” It makes me sad how hard I had to convince him I was good and didn’t say a thing.
So Anthony made his round probably looking at the sold out line and went back behind the building.
Flashfoward it is now close to 1 in the morning. I have dutifully finished my two drink minimum. Now my bladder is full again. I stood up and realized I was buzzed. I didn’t take in the fact that I had taken a migraine pill earlier that day. I was standing in line doing the pee-pee dance when one of the waitresses told me I could use the Main Room bathroom. I was so afraid I was going to get lost, but I made it safe and sound.
While I was walking to a stall I saw someone out of the corner of my eye. I started to tell them “I’m sorry” for cutting them off and came face to face with my reflection.
Yes..I was talking to a mirror. That was when I realized I was more tipsy than I thought. I don’t know about men but when you have been drinking more than you usually do women will actually get board while peeing. While I was sitting down laughing at how stupid I am another woman walked in yelling that she had just got kicked out of the men’s bathroom. She was pissed (pun intended) because she was just going to pee in the urinal. This made me feel better because I may have been talk to your reflection in the mirror drunk but I wasn’t pee in a urinal drunk.
The rest of the night went by with tons of laughs. One comic dubbed me Big Tits McGee.
I just realized most of this post was bathroom related. Sorry about that.
I hope you all had a fabulous Valentine’s day.

Ella Emerson

I AM ATLAS

ON SALE for 99 CENTS Feb 29th– Mar 5th

Amazon US: http://amzn.com/B017S9SW00

B&N: http://barnesandnoble.com/s/2940156674794

iBooks: https://itunes.apple.com/book/id1057371778

FIRE SALE
I AM ATLAS by Ella Emerson
is on #sale for #99cents from Feb29th-Mar5th



With over 50 five star reviews, this has been called one of the biggest mind games of 2015.
Synopsis:
Powerful, wealthy, wildly handsome Atlas has it all: successful company, stunning penthouse, and all the women and fun he could want. But when he meets the brilliant, graceful and mesmerizing Gwen, he is thunderstruck and wants to go to great lengths to have her, even if it means breaking his own rules and baring his secret soul.
When his livelihood is threatened by a competing rival, he must prepare for a corporate battle. But, with Gwen at his side he knows he will not lose.
But, what if she isn’t who he thought…

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As most of you know I live in Southern California. The land of golden sunshine. This may be hard for you to believe…but sometimes it gets cold. (I swear I could actually hear the collective sigh of disgust from anyone living east of me)
For Christmas I received a heated throw blanket. I loved it. It kept me warm and cozy at night while I edited Surviving Faith. It was the blanket form of a shot of Jager.
Then it happened I reached over my bed to press the button of heat, (yeah that could go another way) and the light didn’t go on. I refused to think my heated friend had left me so I went through the house trying different outlets. I finally admitted defeat, but refused to go quietly into the night. So like anyone who wants to vent their personal business, I tweeted my experience.
I cannot tell you my surprise when Therapedic tweeted me back telling me to email them. Honestly I didn’t think they would be able to do anything because I didn’t have the receipt since it was a Christmas gift. Because I didn’t think they would be able to do anything I sent them the weirdest email just so I would have something to feel better about myself.
This is what I sent them…
I tweeted that the heated throw I received for Christmas, died yesterday, February 3. Surprisingly, I received a tweet back to send an email to this address.
Unfortunately, I do not have the receipt because it was a gift. So I’m not sure if you can do anything. I will commend you for your customer service. Good Job.
I loved my blanket all the way until it’s death. I’m wearing black today for my mourning period.
I used it at night when I was editing my fourth novel. Yesterday the lights wouldn’t turn on. I tried it with many different outlets. Because I honestly didn’t want to admit my blanket had departed to the heated bed in the sky.
I’ve been very careful not to bend the wires and at no point was it wadded up in a ball. (When editing ones mind does drift, and I’m not afraid to admit I’ve procrastinated many times by reading the warning tag)
I tried to be treat my blanket with the up most respect as I have a tendency to have very bad luck with Christmas presents. If it’s broke it was mine. Anyways that is my sad tale of my deceased blanket.
Thank you for listening.
Joy Eileen

Imagine my surprise when Susan from Therapedic wrote me back almost immediately. We ended up talking on the phone. By the Way Susan has a bad ass east coast accent, and I think one of my next characters needs to emulate it. I felt like I had made a friend from the back and forth emails, and she was awesome.
Susan was amazing. She not only sent me a replacement blanket I also received another pocket blanket and a pair of slippers that won’t be on the market until March.
Therapedic went above and beyond what I had expected. I’m actually sitting her under my new blanket while I type this. I have worked customer service for many years before I started massage therapy and I understand how hard it is to hear people complain all day.
I love my new blankets and I haven’t taken my slippers off since I opened them.
There are good companies out there. Companies who hire people who have bad ass accents that are willing to help.
Thank you Therapedic….

My final wishes…

Posted: February 20, 2016 in Uncategorized

I recently went to a funeral for my great aunt. I won’t go into details on the funeral itself, but I started thinking of what I would want at my funeral.
There has always been two songs that I’ve known forever would be played at my funeral.

Pink Floyd’s Wish you were here (yes it’s a little fucked up to want this song, but it means a lot to me)
And
Green Day’s Good Riddance
Then a medley of all the awesome songs on my Spotify (this consists mostly of Halestorm) could happen afterward.
I don’t want it in a church. No religious spewing that I made it to my reward. (sorry but I didn’t feel fuzzy and warm when death was called a reward)
I want a party instead of a funeral where everyone wears comfy clothes. Pj’s, yoga pants, slippers, flip flops, or no shoes at all. Anyone who has received a massage knows I don’t wear shoes while I work.
No crying for me 😢. I want everyone to have some of their favorite Joy stories to share. A roast so to speak. Laugh. I lived a life where I did some asinine things revel in it
As for my carcass burn my ass ( the only time I’ll be considered hot) and put me in a Batman action figure.
I want to be the coolest, funnest, dead grandma ever. I want my grandkids to play with me.
I can picture it now
Joey hit me with Grandma
Joey won’t share Grandma.
I’m not sure why little Joey is such an ass, but I have a feeling he will be my favorite.
So there you have it. My wishes.
Yes this is what I think about when I drive alone for three hours on very little sleep. Lol

So Thursday I was interviewed by Robert Moore for the International Writers Association Podcast.
This is the link to the interview.

http://iwaaudio.podomatic.com/entry/2016-01-24T20_49_18-08_00
I come on about into the podcast.
26 minute mark
I don’t want to listen to it. I have a deep hatred for the sound of my voice. I feel I sound like a 12 year old on crack. I also said amazing, awesome, and great way too many times. I kept telling myself to stop saying those words in my head only to blurt one of them out seconds later. I was laughing in my head every time I let one of those words slip.
Also I tried to mention as many people as I could but I know I missed so many. It was not done intentionally, and I’m sorry. In fact I don’t really remember what I said.
So here you go if you want to have a laugh at my expense. Or you can make it a drinking game. Take a shot when I say awesome amazing or great.