Archive for June, 2014

1) While “The Tale of Onora” is an ensemble piece, the main character is Aithein. He is a fictional character but he is symbolizes me, as the entire story is a metaphor for my life and the world as I see it, not as I want it to be. There are many historical things incorporated into this story that are dressed up to appear differently in a fantasy world.

2) The story is set in Caliphweald, a little over a decade after The Great War of the 4th Era.

3) In regards to Aithein (I phrase it that way because every other characters’ journey is equally important, but I can only speak from my perspective) the thing that people who are curious about my background should know is that Aithein is me down to every last detail. To give you examples in Book One, I’ll unravel a few metaphors for you while maintaining a certain anonymity. He is raised by the Amori in a secluded village in the middle of a magical forest. He is a distant relative of the Amori, but he didn’t come from the Shade like them. He was unnatural to the environment, and he does not have his own fairy. It’s known that he isn’t quite one of them, but they raise him as their own anyways even though he feels distant from all except Ellia (a metaphor for the female energy I had to part with when I left home) and The Bannitlarn Brothers (a metaphor for the brothers who I’ve been best friends with since I was five years old, the ones who took me into their family and grew up with me as outcasts that saw beneath the veils of pretentiousness of the yuppies we grew up with). Amori Village is a metaphor for a place I was raised. I spent many years of my childhood growing up on an island that was inhabited by predominantly wealthy caucasian Protestants, with some Catholics/Christians and Jews as well, and then there was me. I grew up with the upper class of society, and even went to one of the most prominent private schools, yet my natural ability to belong there was all an illusion. My mom worked especially hard, sometimes having 3 jobs, to raise me in that kind of environment and send me to that school. Dani is a partial metaphor for the strong women that had a hand in raising me, especially my mom. You’ll see her help Aithein grow into a man without infringing upon his freedom to make mistakes and learn from his experience of life. All the while, she bears the burden of raising a boy by herself to fulfill some great purpose, that which she doesn’t know yet, and the spiritual and physical toll that takes. My mom sometimes says things that, if you’re not paying attention, will go unnoticed. But if you listen closely to what she tells you, you’ll uncover certain truths that you would’ve otherwise never found. For example, under the right circumstance, she’ll tell you who she really is, and the nature in why she manifested on this planet. Who knows, you may even hear her say that she came to this realm to give birth to me so that I may change the world, the sort of whispers that all tales possess in their cores. Or she might casually explain to you something about the spirits you see in the corner of your eyes, the ones you thought were figments of your imagination, observing you, yet when you look directly at them they’ve already fled. She downplays the power that’s within her to make you feel comfortable around her. But trust me, do not mistake her for the mask she wears. While I was baptized, I never received communion, so on weekends I was one of the only one of my friends who didn’t attend Church or Temple. I always felt like an outsider, a feeling that never had more potency than being at dinners in different homes when it came time for me to say grace. I was the boy without a fairy, without communion, without God or a guardian angel. My mom became all of those things for me, so Dani becoming Aithein’s fairy is also a metaphor for my life. The other thing that’s pertinent to Aithein is the nightmare he has and the dreams he has of a girl he’s never met. My whole life I’ve dreamt about this girl, and I don’t know her by a name, so when you read the man’s journal, its sincerity is unmistakable because I didn’t make anything up. I named the girl Onora, the girl whose solar eyes contain the secrets of the universe, the girl that other people have dreams of too, often side by side with me. Her name is a play on the word “honor”. As the man writes, “My Onora,” my honor; “The Tale of Onora,” the tale of honor. If I were to explain every metaphor, I would write something as long as the book itself because they are one in the same, just adorning different clothes. So this concept is what you should know about Aithein, and unlike most other fantasy novels, the reason my story is so real, so well organized, is that I lived this. It’s my life, my truth, my experience. You’re just seeing it behave as something else, in this case a fantasy tale. Most authors can only fantasize about the journey I’ve been on, from the safe little corners of their world, from the confines of their cells of “security”. Not me. I wrote this while inside the belly of the beast. And I’m still here, waiting for you to unleash me.

4) The main conflict is this. There are only two types of people in this world, those that want to be left alone, and those who won’t leave you alone. The latter is responsible for all the world’s ills, and good people yield their minds to this small percentage of the population because they are completely handicapped by the thought of someone being capable of such iniquity, so much so that they refuse to believe the truth that’s been in front of them the whole time. They don’t want to know. Their easy lives cannot continue if they understand what’s being done to them by wolves dressed as sheep. Their livelihoods are dependent upon them believing the lies that allow them to perpetuate the fraud of this paradigm. And every great historical figure that’s tried to expose them has met an untimely death. I can’t say I’ll be any different, unless you, the people, wake up. I don’t have much faith than any will, but know that it only took 3 million of us to declare our independence to a world of billions. The conflict of this story, like all conflicts, has two perspectives. Depending on which side you stand, you’ll see that there are heroes and villains on each, which is why the theme of this story is to walk your own path, have the courage to be yourself, and never allow yourself to be led by anyone or under any circumstances sacrifice what’s good and best about you to a collective organization.

5) In Book One, Aithein’s personal goal is to get to the root of what’s causing his nightmares, and ultimately to find the girl with the solar eyes in the waking world.

6) (Not pertinent to my series.)

7) Book Two should be published by the end of July in 2014. I’m just waiting on the editors and the artist to complete the cover. Very exciting! Cannot wait to reveal who it is! Book Three should be published sometime in November. It’s a very gratifying thing to be a part of and I look forward to sharing the process with everyone that wants to be included in it. If someone is reading this and has no idea what we’re talking about, they can read the first ten pages of Book One for free here: http://bit.ly/taleofonora

As a side note, no mainstream media or Hollywood journalist will ever get this candid of an explanation of my story and its metaphors. They will be left to merely witness it unfold and be entertained by the outer layer of its appearance. The metaphors are only something I’m willing to reveal to Joy and others like her that support independent artists and conscious individuals who are doing everything they can to minimize their exposure to a paradigm that does not benefit them.

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Just Say “NO”

Posted: June 23, 2014 in Uncategorized

Any of you that were on twitter last night, may have read a Tweet about me going to a country concert. I am not knocking country, and I have a whole rant worked up for after the concert. I am just not a country type of girl. Give me Halestorm, 5FDP, Stone Sour, or Pop Evil (especially their bass player Matt.)  We all know how I like to be distracted while working out. So I immediately read her text, which asks if I want to go to a concert on Saturday. I don’t know if you have noticed or not, but I do not get out much, so I jumped at the chance. Not asking what concert.

I am now the proud owner of a Lady Antebellum concert ticket for Saturday night. I am biting my tongue; I will do my rant later after the concert. I promise. (You are forewarned.)

Last night while trying to fall asleep I was wondering “What does one wear, to a country concert?” Ok I lie; I was thinking “What the Fuck am I going to wear?”

I then remember that I have a pair of cowboy boots I bought last year when I went to Vegas. Then I remember why I have only worn them that one time.

VEGAS BABY.

I was there with Jm, (I think this may be the first time I have mentioned Jm, and you will read a lot about him.) It was our third night there, and we decided to go to Fremont Street.  (Fremont Street, is old Vegas and has lots of debauchery, and people watching)

After having a few cocktails, (we all know how well I hold my liquor) and walking around Jm has to go to the restroom. So there I am standing in the middle of a casino, in cowboy boots, pigtails, and well you can see what I was wearing in the picture (you can also tell I was pleasantly buzzed.) when a drunken business man stumbles over to me. (I need to tell you that he was very short.) I ignored him, figuring that he would just stumble past me, but no, not my luck.

He get right in front of me, and says to my boobs, (since that was high he reached) “you aren’t a good girl are you” I looked at him, totally confused. He takes my silence as an agreement to his statement, and continues. “How much for the night?”

Seriously, he must have been on some good shit to mistake me for a hooker, and actually want to pay for me. (Maybe he had some cowgirl fetish, the hell if I will ever figure out why he came over to me.) I am shocked silent, which is not something that happens often. By now my would be “Tiny John” is leaning on my arm, unable to hold himself up.

I look over, hoping to see the hidden camera or someone yelling that I was “punked.” When a biker, wearing “Lords of Chaos” leathers, complete with tattoos on his bald skull stands up from his slot machine, and starts walking toward us.

I’m thinking that I am about to die, which really pisses me off, because I was promised a buffet that night. Biker dude, tells my Tiny John, to leave me alone. Right about this time, Jm decides to make his appearance. He looks at me, my leaning Tiny John, and Biker Dude, and back to me with an expression I can only describe as, “What the fuck did you do now?”

I shuck off Tiny, and grab Jm by the arm leading him away. He starts to ask questions, but I shush him and keep on walking. While Tiny John yells “that he would pay me more” and Biker Dude telling him to “leave me alone.” Is shouted behind us.

This was my first adventure in my cowboy boots, and Saturday will be their second. I am sure there will be plenty to tell you.

Also Thank You Scary Biker Dude, for being a gentleman and assisting me. It goes to show you, you cannot judge a person until you see their actions.

Oh Yeah, good news I made it to the buffet. 1

Madhuri Blaylock was kind enough to extend an invitation to be a part of her blog tour. I have arrived, I am now chilling with the cool kids (I’m sure I will say something stupid soon, and be banished. Until then, I am wallowing in it for as long as it lasts.)

When I heard blog tour, I will not lie, I panicked. Especially when I saw the amazing people, that I was somehow lumped in with. Madhuri’s book The Girl, and The Boy are both on my TBR, and featured on this site under Reviews/TBR. After reading more about Dev, I am now bumping them up on my list. She is exceptional in the art of editing, and if she decides to read this, will cringe accordingly with every grammatical error. She also receives mad props from me, for catching onto my sexual innuendos, and even supplying her own.

Thank you Madhuri for accidently tagging my name in your blog tour, I appreciate it.

http://madhuriblaylock.wordpress.com/

GETTING TO KNOW MY MAIN CHARACTER

1 What is the name of your main character? Is he or she fictional or a historic person?

The main character in “Breaking Faith” is Faith Annabelle. She is a fictional character with bits and pieces of me thrown in the mix. I decided to live vicariously through her, and her better choices.

2. When and where is the story set?

“Breaking Faith” is set in Portland, Oregon in present day. The music that I have throughout the book can be heard on a badass rock station.

3. What should we know about her?

Faith is incredibly strong. She has to endure a lot, and to her credit she never stops fighting (she contemplates it many times, but in the long run never stops.) Even with everything she goes through, she is still able to laugh, and love.

4. What is the main conflict? What messes up her life?

As much as I would like to blame it on her mother abandoning her, or her abusive ex, the true answer to this question, is Faith herself.  She gets inside her own head, and doesn’t give herself enough credit in life to be treated the way she should. She talks herself into these bad life choices. She knows that she shouldn’t be with her abusive ex Jason, but she also understands him for what he is, and therefore she cannot be disappointed in his actions. When she meets Killian (Kill) she pushes him away, because if he is genuine in his interest, he could hurt her with the unknown.

5. What is her personal goal?

To be able to trust herself, and make the choices that can ultimately make her happy. She leaves Jason in order to learn who she is, and what she is capable of.

6. Is there a working title for this novel, and can we read more about it?

This is a three part series, with three spin off’s with the other characters in the book

“Breaking Faith”

“Surviving Faith”

“Becoming Faith”

The spin off’s will be Van and Jessie’s story, D and Toni’s story, and Ryan and Matt’s story.

You can read more about it on this blog under “My Books”

7. When can we expect the books to be published?

It is about to go into its second editing. I am hoping, praying, standing on my head shouting obscenities that it will be out by the end of this year. The cover, which is being designed by Cover It Designs, should be out in September

And now it’s my turn to pass on the favour!

Rebecca Fisher is the author of “All the Wrong Places” it is a fantastic story, and I hope that this will allow more people to read it. She is one of the most supportive person I have ever met, and has assisted me so much with “Breaking Faith.” And she deserves my love.  rebeccafisherbooks.com/

Rose  Montague is the author of Jade. Jade is on my TBR, and I cannot wait to read it. Rose allowed Jade to be a strong female character, with tons of awesomeness flowing through her veins. Jade will make any woman that reads about her, proud to have a vagina. https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7393094.Rose_Montague

Layla Steven’s is AMAZING. I adore her so much, she is the one that is responsible for the awe inspiring teasers on this blog. I cannot thank her enough for everything she has done for me. Layla has written a book entitled “Broken, love and forever bound.” The teasers she has made for it, has left many including me anxious to read it. I can’t wait to read more about Kayla, and find out what makes her tick.

laylastevensauthor.wordpress.com/

Maggie Kaye is the author of “So Right With You” she is also going to make her books into a series, following the friends that met up at camp. Maggie is another supportive person, and deserves all the best to her.

maggiekayeauthor.com/

Jane Bled is my next victim. She is awesome and fun, and I can’t wait to read her character answers. Everyone go over and follow Jane, go over and say hello.

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6402206-crimson?from_search=true

Dylan Saccoccio My first male victim. Dylan is the author of ,”The Tale of Onora: The Boy and the Peddler of Death” It is the first book of a Sci-Fi fantasy novel, that sets you up for an amazing journey leaving you anxious for the next installment. I can guarantee his answers will be unique, and interesting.

https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/8146489.Dylan_SaccoccioBFT2

Yesterday, I had some time to get my eyebrows done. I have extremely hairy eyebrows, and if I don’t get them waxed I start to resemble a Muppet. In fear of someone mistaking me for a puppet, and shoving their hand up my ass to make me talk, I wax regularly. I walk into the salon right next to my work, and asked if they had time for an eyebrow. While she was scraping the calluses off of her client’s feet, she looks down at mine, and asks if I have time for a pedicure too?

Let me tell you, someone that is removing dead skin off of another person, and can make you feel nasty is a talent. I told her that I did not in fact have time, because I had a massage in fifteen minutes. She rolls her eyes, and signals for someone to take me back. This is not the first time I have had a odd experience at this place, and if they weren’t so damn convenient I would totally find another place to rip my hair off of my face with melted wax.

A couple of months ago, I went in to get my eyebrows done. I was noticing more and more puppeteer type people starting to follow me, and knew it was time. While on the bed, the lady asks me “Just eyebrows?” I get that the more hair they rip off me, the more they make so I don’t think anything of the question, and answer “Yes.”

“No lip?” she asks.

“No, no lip. Just eyebrow.” I respond.

“No chin?” Seriously. What. The. Fuck.

“No, no chin. Just eyebrows.” I say.

She starts doing my eyebrows, and right when she is almost done she hits me up again.

“Are you sure, no chin?” Now I am going over in my head, do I have a hairy chin? Oh my god what if I have a hairy chin and never knew.

“No chin, just eyebrow. Thank you.” I say, while my mind is going over every nuance of my face. I started to relate to the three little pigs. I am not going to lie, as soon as I left; I immediately go to the closest mirror, and search my face for any hairy protrusions. I didn’t find any, but I am telling you I have been self conscious ever since. CAM01036-1 (1)

NANANANANANA BAT STAMP

Posted: June 23, 2014 in Uncategorized

OMG…..Joy, did you really do that? I know, I know the cliche of the the tramp stamp right above the BATCAVE………

Yes, this is my faded tramp stamp that thankfully it is behind me, so I don’t have to be faced with it daily. People ask me why I don’t get it removed, and honestly as much as I complain and am embarassed about it, it’s me.

As I explained in the “Me” section of this blog/site, I had a bit of a mean ex boyfriend. When I finally escaped his clutches, I went a tad bit crazy. I started “dating” a DJ at a strip club. The reason for the quotes is because he was “dating” a bunch of girls.

This DJ was also a piercer. The more I write the redder I turn, but we are all friends so what’s a few secrets.

One night while I was waiting for him to pierce a client ( I am not sure if he was just piercing her with a needle, he also liked to pierce things with his Uhm……well you know) Anywho…..

I was in the waiting room, because he promised me food, like a good little girl when his friend “the tattoo artist” came out. He announces “I want to ink someone.” Ahhh.. you know where this is going don’t you…..such smart friends I have.

I jump up off the leather couch I was trying not to touch, in fear of getting pregnant, and reply with Joy enthusiasm “you can ink me!!!!!!!”

He looks at me, and I am sure he see’s sucker written across my forehead. That was going to be my next tattoo. (I’m kidding; I would not get Sucker on my forehead.)

“Ok, but it can’t be some random tattoo. It has to express who you are. Who are you Joy????”  He asks. Without skipping a beat, let’s all say it together….

“I’M BATMAN”  It’s ok you can shake your head I get it. He proceeds to grab my hand, and lead me into the tattoo room where he puts this bad boy on me. He also kept squirting the damn solution down my crack, so I totally looked like I peed when I was done.

Now since I have Batman permanently tatted on my ass, I have learned to embrace it. I now have every argument I can think of as to why Batman is the best super hero. (Think about it Superman is a damn alien, do you really think he has his working visa? What would he write, on his forms for his job while in the US “Saving the World” pretentious much. Then there is Spiderman, seriously show him a flip-flop or a rolled up newspaper, and dude is cowering in the corner.) Thank goodness I picked Batman.

Shake your head, I get it. Be embarrassed for me.

Or if you have an embarrassing tattoo, share it with me. I would love that, share my pain with me.

P.S. I wanted pink to be radiating off of it, he just outlined the damn thing in pink. When people see it they think it is new, and irritated. CAM01026 (1)

Tales from the Table

Posted: June 23, 2014 in Uncategorized

NEW STORY ADDED 06/07/14

When I tell people that I am a Massage Therapist, one of two things normally happen. One they turn around, thinking I am going to start performing a massage on them right there, or two the request all of the dirt that happens in the massage room.

I always tell my patients, that what happens in the massage room never happened. The vulnerability that a person feel while naked face down in a dark room is not to be laughed at (yet.) There are times when people reveal things to me, that I could have lived my whole life without hearing.

Now that this is said, I have heard some incredible things in my dark little room. These are the ones I like to share (and I’m sure that I will add more weekly, as I seem to have an endless supply.)

*********NEW********Inappropriate Conversation; I have had many inappropriate conversations with patients over the years. Yesterday may have taken the gold start though. We were talking about people, and how they say things that you don’t know how to respond to them. I told him about a patient I had that had an experience like that with her doctor. Apparently she had a c-section, and when she went in for her six week check up her doctor told her “You can tell you had a c-section. It is beautiful down here.”

We were both giggling, when he becomes very serious, and tells me. “If I were a gynecologist, I would only want beautiful vaginas. I would stand up on a staircase and pick them out.”

 I tell him “he should stand under the staircase and dismiss them accordingly. Number two you can leave, number nine please exit the building, number twelve good god woman.” We are both laughing, and later he quiets down, and I assume he is asleep. When out of the blue he says “Pretty Pussy Gynecology.” My knees almost buckled, I was laughing so hard. I truly thought he was asleep and was not expecting anything like that to ever come out of his mouth. Yeah, I am a total professional 😉

MY SCREW UP;  During the time of the Twilight revolution. I went to see every movie when it came out. I know I’m a nerd, (you should have known that by now.) I was massaging a client’s husband; his wife also loved the Twilight movies. So of course I ask if she had her tickets for the movie yet. He said she did, and then asked me if I still liked the movies? My witty response. “Yes, I love me some happy endings.” (My hands were on his back, and I wanted to take the words and stuff them back in my mouth as soon as they came out.) We were both very quiet after that lovely remark. Later that night his wife text’s me, and asks me what I did to her husband. I text her the story, and she calls me laughing. I guess when he got home, and she asked how his massage was he turned bright red, and mumbled that it was fine before going upstairs. I now dip my feet in chocolate in the morning, being that they end up in my mouth at least once a day.

IS IT NORMAL;  One day I have ever had a request for a breast massage? I told her that I have never actually had anyone ask me, but I was trained on how to perform it if asked. (I actually have a story about that day, but I will save it for another time.)  She then proceeded to tell me a story that had me laughing so hard I had to stop massaging her and catch my breath.  Her and a friend went on a trip to Mexico, and had the bright idea to get massages. (I tell my clients they are allowed to get strange, if they are on vacation. They just have to come back to me.) My client went in second after her friend, as there was only one woman performing the massage that day. Close to the end, my client was face up, and the lady “went to town on her boobs” her words not mine on her boobs. (I will admit she has a very impressive set of girls on her.)  As the lady was kneading, and rubbing her girls my client had to bite her tongue to keep from laughing. After her mauling was over, she went back to her friend and asked why she didn’t warn her. The friend had a confused look on her face, and asked her what type of warning she wanted. With the dumbfounded look on her friends face, my client asked her less endowed friend if she received the same attention on her chest. Her friend was outraged that she didn’t have her girls relaxed, and wanted to go back and ask the lady why her girls smaller girls were neglected. My client had to drag her friend out of the massage place, and buy her margarita’s while reassuring her all night that her boobs were amazing.

ITS GETTING HOT IN HERE; Unfortunately the perverts must all go to the same school, because I hear the same type of thing over and over. This one will come up multiple times in this blog. “You know Joy I don’t think it is right that I’m naked and you’re not.”  One of my replies. “That’s true. That’s why my top was off the whole time you were face down, but then I got cold before I turned you over so I put it back on.” His response “What I was staring at your feet the whole time, that’s a rip off.”

Weird Conversation; the conversation I had today with patient (P). HIs phone kept chiming so I told him that he was really popular today.

P; no if I get a message and don’t check it right away it notifies me every ten minutes

me; so your phone is like a needy woman? Pay attention to me, Look at me fucker!

P; yeah, she gets really paranoid if I don’t pick her up right away

Me; she kind of sounds like a bitch, does she get jealous when you look at other phones?

P; yeah, and she is really frustrating too, always wondering if I’m touching other phones buttons. She really hates you.

Me; why would she hate me? I’m pretty awesome.

P; because I ignore her when I am with you for an hour

Me; oh that makes sense especially since you put her face down, and your clothes are on the floor

P; yeah I think she makes up notifications, just to interupt my massage

Me; smart girl (see how professional I am)

The Greatest Tip; My favorite tip story is about a man that I had been working on once a week. I can’t explain why he was in there, but no money was coming out of his pockets. After months of working on him without ever receiving a tip, he proceeds to tell me. “Joy I don’t have any money to give you, but I am having a yard sale this Saturday and I can give you a $100 credit.” I was speechless, this wasn’t someone who was hurting for money, he was just someone that hated to part with it.

The Human Carpet; I have a man who is covered in hair, and he is very proud of it.  So proud that he becomes very upset when I snag on it. Not realizing how protective he is of his hair, when he yelled at me for getting caught on it, my big mouth proceeded to tell him that next time “I could massage him with Nair.” He has never rescheduled.

The set up;  Male client “That’s funny Joy, when you massaged my butt my neck popped.” Me; “makes you wonder where your head is.” Really can you blame me, that was the perfect set-up

Wrong answer; One of my more flirtier clients, wanted to give back to me. Telling me that he wished he could make me feel, as good as I make him feel. Telling him to tip me, was not the response he was looking for.

The moaner; I had a client moan, which isn’t unusual but this particular client decided to be very verbal.  He inserted my name into his moans. I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing. It was disturbing to know what it would sound like if I sex with him.

One liners; out of the mouths of clients

You are the climax of my day

Are you like the books that you like, do you enjoy happy endings?

Why don’t you get on the table, and I will rub you

I’ve been dreaming of your magic hands, and what they do to my body.

I told my wife you weren’t good, because I was afraid you would tell her what I say in here.

(I got pressed for time. I will add more soon.)

If you have read any of the comments that have been posted on this site, you will notice that most of them are about my boobs. I have already done a rant, on how annoying they are at getting the attention, but there was one comment about a schooner.  In Laughlin they say that the motto is “What happens in Laughlin, never happened.” I also tell this to my patients in the massage room, while they confess their darkest secrets. What they don’t seem to notice is I have a big mouth. (that’s what he said. Sorry I had too.) So I decided to write about why the schooner=fishbowl came up, and to actually tell you it comes up in “Breaking Faith”  So here is the story of a very drunken night in Laughlin, that should have never happened.

I need to first start off telling you that I am a extreme light weight. (One drink I flash my boobs, and pass out.) I wish I would have followed my MO, but this night I decided to shake it up a bit. Girls weekend in Laughlin, we decide to go get fishbowls. I should have known the night was not going to end well just by how it started. When we order our drinks, our bartender has it hot for (M) (I’m not giving out names so they all get letters, sorry.) He puts the whip cream all the way up her straw, and she licks it off like the awesome chick that she is.  Not wanting to be shown up, deep throat my whip cream straw. The poor bar tender tells us that “He gets off at two.” Where (S) replies “I think you just did.”  We giggle snort and walk away. By the end of the night I am walking sideways in a John Wayne type fashion.

I am not sure who’s idea it was, but somehow we decided that my boob would fit inside this damn cup. I being the curious mind that I am decide to test the hypothesis (all in the name of science.) Of course my luck only being bad, the damn thing gets stuck in there. Everyone is laughing while I  am trying not to panic at the thought of having to leave the hotel room in a stretcher with a freaking glass stuck to me. At this moment none of my “girls” are being helpful. Right before panic mode kicks in completely I get the brilliant idea that I could get a straw to break the suction the freaking soul sucking glass had on my boob.

Yes….it worked. Yay.  I seriously cannot believe I  told you guys that story.

This was such a traumatic experience for me, I actually reference in Breaking Faith.  See not all the true stories in the book are bad. I hope that when you get to that part in the book, if you decide to read it, that you will laugh and in some weird way we will be even closer than a author reader.

 CAM00993-1

Breaking Faith

Posted: June 23, 2014 in Uncategorized

Faith made the mistake of giving herself to someone who didn’t deserve her. After making the decision to leave him, she sought refuge at a bar full of loving misfits. The misfits accepted Faith without question, and now they protect her as if she is family.

While putting the pieces of her life back together, she fights to keep her broken heart from falling for the moody lead singer of the Jackholes. A man named Kill.

Killian has his own demons to battle, yet Faith brings out the singer’s protective side: a side he thought he’d buried long ago, to spare his battered heart.

All the while, Faith’s ex is having a hard time letting go.

Can Faith and Kill trust each other long enough to leave their pasts behind and find love? Will Faith break away from the controlling ex she thought she’d walked out on? Is the past too overpowering to allow anyone a chance at happiness?BFT2

Perv’s at Midnight #999

Posted: June 23, 2014 in Uncategorized

I can not express how excited I was when I was notified that someone had left a comment on my website. My first comment……YAY!!!!!!! As quickly as I could I go to check it, and imagine my surprise when it is not for me, but addressed to my chest.

My chest and I have a love hate relationship. I love the fact that I don’t have to pay for drinks, although I am such a light weight anymore than one, and I am flashing the girls and passing out in the the corner, but I digress.

The girls didn’t sprout out until the summer of my Junior to Senior year (maybe there was a freak accident, and miracle grow was mixed in my body wash, seriously this is the only explaination I can think of.) They were a hit when I went back to school, and rumors ran rampant that I had a boob job durning summer (clearly they didn’t know my parents.) I am not going to lie, I went a little power drunk, when I realized that they were like two little mob bosses allowing me access to things that used to be locked from me.

With great power come great responsibility ( I so do not do responsibility) I had a teacher in college that actually lectured to my boobs. I assumed they were taking great notes, and was very screwed when I realized they did not asorb any information that was being pointed at them. Thank goodness my brain (the good girl that she is, retained the lecture)

So once again I am being upstaged by my girls, as they get all the attention. Oh well another

Here it Goes!!!!

Posted: June 23, 2014 in Uncategorized

Two years ago I started to write a book. A paranormal YA that has my take on mythical creatures.  One day I was listening to the radio and Halestorm came on, I was instantly in love. I decided to stop writing my other book and embarked on writing what I am now referring to as my Rock-n-Roll romance.  “Breaking Faith” Having never written a book before, I had no idea how long a book was supposed to be. When I finished the last line, I was well over 406,000 words.  People were appalled at how many words I had written down. I already had an outline, for another book wanting it to a two part series, silly me for trying to make plans, I have now realized I do not drive the bus, in my journey of being an author.

I have now split the first book into two, “Breaking Faith, Surviving Faith”  and I am currently removing many many words to make it some semblance of a normal sized novel. How did I come up with such a long book plot? You ask. I am stuck in a dark room with naked people four days a week. Yes, I am a massage therapist, and when one of my patients stubbornly decide they want to enjoy their massage by relaxing and not talking to me for an hour (honestly people talk to your therapists) I have plenty of uninterrupted time while rubbing a naked asses to come up with a plot. In case you haven’t notice, I am very inappropriate and my responses although I find them witty normally edge along the perverted line. (There are days I think I have the mentality of a 13 year old boy.)

I also am a huge talker, I was telling every available person (normally they are naked and face down, unable to escape…evil laugh) about the book I had finished. I would have been perfectly fine never doing more than talking about this damn book, except my mouth got me in trouble. I had patients ask me if they could read it, stupidly I said, yes. I started to get feedback that it was actually a good story, still I would have been fine not taking it any farther. While I was on the elliptical one day I got a tweet, any distraction while working out is something I will stop and check. The tweet was from my now friend Lilo Abernathy, telling me that she had written a book. I told her that I would check it out immediately, but she wanted to give me her spiel, saying that “she wanted to work for it.” I read her book, but made the mistake of telling her about “Breaking Faith.”  Being the amazing awesome person she is, she decided to take me under her wing and help me self publish my book. She increased my Twitter followers more than double, and stated to get my name out there. I now have people actually asking where they could find my book, and upset when I explained that it was being edited and not out yet. I had others tell me that they couldn’t find my website (again it was not available)

“Breaking Faith” is being edited, and the cover is being created by coveritdesigns.net. It will get out there soon. Hopefully I will be able to update all of my wanna-be –readers so they will know what is happening with the book, and not give up on me. CAM00220-1