A FUNNY THING HAPPENED AT THE NAIL SALON

Posted: June 23, 2014 in Uncategorized

Yesterday, I had some time to get my eyebrows done. I have extremely hairy eyebrows, and if I don’t get them waxed I start to resemble a Muppet. In fear of someone mistaking me for a puppet, and shoving their hand up my ass to make me talk, I wax regularly. I walk into the salon right next to my work, and asked if they had time for an eyebrow. While she was scraping the calluses off of her client’s feet, she looks down at mine, and asks if I have time for a pedicure too?

Let me tell you, someone that is removing dead skin off of another person, and can make you feel nasty is a talent. I told her that I did not in fact have time, because I had a massage in fifteen minutes. She rolls her eyes, and signals for someone to take me back. This is not the first time I have had a odd experience at this place, and if they weren’t so damn convenient I would totally find another place to rip my hair off of my face with melted wax.

A couple of months ago, I went in to get my eyebrows done. I was noticing more and more puppeteer type people starting to follow me, and knew it was time. While on the bed, the lady asks me “Just eyebrows?” I get that the more hair they rip off me, the more they make so I don’t think anything of the question, and answer “Yes.”

“No lip?” she asks.

“No, no lip. Just eyebrow.” I respond.

“No chin?” Seriously. What. The. Fuck.

“No, no chin. Just eyebrows.” I say.

She starts doing my eyebrows, and right when she is almost done she hits me up again.

“Are you sure, no chin?” Now I am going over in my head, do I have a hairy chin? Oh my god what if I have a hairy chin and never knew.

“No chin, just eyebrow. Thank you.” I say, while my mind is going over every nuance of my face. I started to relate to the three little pigs. I am not going to lie, as soon as I left; I immediately go to the closest mirror, and search my face for any hairy protrusions. I didn’t find any, but I am telling you I have been self conscious ever since. CAM01036-1 (1)

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