itsjoysworld.net

If you have read any of the comments that have been posted on this site, you will notice that most of them are about my boobs. I have already done a rant, on how annoying they are at getting the attention, but there was one comment about a schooner.  In Laughlin they say that the motto is “What happens in Laughlin, never happened.” I also tell this to my patients in the massage room, while they confess their darkest secrets. What they don’t seem to notice is I have a big mouth. (that’s what he said. Sorry I had too.) So I decided to write about why the schooner=fishbowl came up, and to actually tell you it comes up in “Breaking Faith”  So here is the story of a very drunken night in Laughlin, that should have never happened.

I need to first start off telling you that I am a extreme light weight. (One drink I flash my boobs, and pass out.) I wish I would have followed my MO, but this night I decided to shake it up a bit. Girls weekend in Laughlin, we decide to go get fishbowls. I should have known the night was not going to end well just by how it started. When we order our drinks, our bartender has it hot for (M) (I’m not giving out names so they all get letters, sorry.) He puts the whip cream all the way up her straw, and she licks it off like the awesome chick that she is.  Not wanting to be shown up, deep throat my whip cream straw. The poor bar tender tells us that “He gets off at two.” Where (S) replies “I think you just did.”  We giggle snort and walk away. By the end of the night I am walking sideways in a John Wayne type fashion.

I am not sure who’s idea it was, but somehow we decided that my boob would fit inside this damn cup. I being the curious mind that I am decide to test the hypothesis (all in the name of science.) Of course my luck only being bad, the damn thing gets stuck in there. Everyone is laughing while I  am trying not to panic at the thought of having to leave the hotel room in a stretcher with a freaking glass stuck to me. At this moment none of my “girls” are being helpful. Right before panic mode kicks in completely I get the brilliant idea that I could get a straw to break the suction the freaking soul sucking glass had on my boob.

Yes….it worked. Yay.  I seriously cannot believe I  told you guys that story.

This was such a traumatic experience for me, I actually reference in Breaking Faith.  See not all the true stories in the book are bad. I hope that when you get to that part in the book, if you decide to read it, that you will laugh and in some weird way we will be even closer than a author reader.