itsjoysworld.net

Monday I drove the three hours it takes to get to my parents home. I promised them that I would deliver a couple of things to them, and decided to just make the trip. The house that they live in now is not the house that I grew up in. I actually lived in it for a little over a year, before I decided that I should move to Texas for a guy I met on-line. (yes I know) (NO REALLY I KNOW)

My parents are some of my biggest supporters. I can do no wrong in their eyes. Yes, I have them completely fooled. I only stayed a half the day, but it was refreshing to see them. I got to meet my nephew (don’t faint ladies. He is only a dog.)

I guess I should explain that one. My brother although he is six years younger than I am, got all of the looks. I don’t know how it happened. He is handsome, and he knows it. Don’t believe me? When we were younger I had to have this conversation with many, many, many girls.

Some random girl drooling over my baby brother, “That’s your brother?”

Me rolling my eyes, “Yes”

Stupid girl with her eyes now glazed over at my brother, “Same parents?”

Me trying not to rip her arm off and beat her with it, “Yes”

Random girl now walking past me on a mission, “OMG, he is so handsome. You guys look nothing alike.”

I would put a picture of him on here, but then you guys would try and find his blog.

Anyways…what was I saying.

Oh, so I had a good visit with my parents and brother. I got to talk to my mom about a situation that I have been avoiding like the plague, and she gave me information that will allow me to continue to avoid it with less panic. Ahh..mom thanks.

Cutest mom ever.

I should have grabbed the picture with my dad in the kitty ears. Damn. Next time.

Now, I always try and go through my room when I am there. My bedroom is set up like a shrine. The museum of Joy. I am guessing that October is going to be the month for time travel.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aizCMO-mI1Q

I feel awful that my room is dedicated to me. I always try to get rid of the clutter. My parents don’t mind, and tell me not to bother but I can’t help it. I was able to go through about three boxes, and threw away a lot of stuff. It cracked me up to find a lot of my old writing. Most of it is cringe worthy, but it shows that I had some type of writing virus even when I was young.

While going through some boxes I realized that Breaking Faith has accomplished what I wanted it to do. I used the process of writing Breaking Faith as a way of finally putting an end to my past. I was pretty much done with living in the past, this just sealed it away into a locked box to be thrown to the bottom of the ocean. (Hopefully it will get a couple sharks on the way down. Fuckers.)

The reason I know that Breaking Faith did its job. I found these in one of the boxes, and felt nothing.

Now during my time in Texas I would have been smart to buy stock in Post-its. These were the only three that I kept. These three were very significant in my old life. They signified a physical object that I felt I needed to validate my sanity.

After I post this I will be throwing them away because I don’t need the validation of them anymore. These are no longer my life, and in all honesty I forgot about them until I saw them. (Yes, my top lip moved. So, we know I wasn’t lying. Or was it my ears wiggled. Hmm.)

I felt nothing when I saw these.  I realized that I don’t care about that anymore. I knew that I was there, but seeing these and feeling nothing was a huge thing for me.

I stopped working on Breaking Faith for awhile because of something that happened with one of my readers. She called me crying about some of the things that I have Faith go through. I freaked out. I don’t want sympathy when people read this book. I want them to be entertained, and hopefully they want to read the next installment.

After seeing these, and feeling nothing I knew that Breaking Faith went beyond what I needed it to do for me. I have been going through and editing parts that I wrote for me and really have nothing for the readers. It is now a book. It has a beginning a middle and some kind of ending. (I need some stuff to go on for the next book 😉 )

I have moved on to another point in my life. It is exciting. It is scary. It isn’t me dragging along the past.