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I was thinking about my mom since it was Mother’s day on Sunday. My mom is amazing, and her words of wisdom have helped me maneuver through this crazy life. Some of her advice was a bit unconventional to say it mildly but it worked.
The saying that scarred me the most…uhmm, I mean stuck with me the most was “don’t put money in your mouth, because gypsies store it in their butts.”
I know this is highly offensive, and I’m sorry to any gypsies. When I was little gypsies weren’t human in my mind, but evil creatures that struck a cord of fear anytime they were mentioned.
Gypsies were used to keep me in line as they also stole bad children from their parents and sold them to the circus. If you ask my mom she will tell you she never said this, and I made it up. I will tell you money has never breached my mouth, and the look of horror I get when I see people put money in their mouth solidifies her words stuck.
Another life gem, “if you have to pick your nose use your pinky so you don’t stretch out your nostril.” She probably won’t take credit for this one either.
When we were walking and passed a pole she made me hold the pole and circle around it while saying “peanut butter and jelly sandwiches” I have a feeling this was to make sure I would never be a stripper. Any auditions would be ruined as I circled the pole talking about sandwiches. (Smart mom)
According to my mom, Vicks vapor rub will heal any ailment. My mom uses Vicks vapor rub like the dad in my big fat greek wedding would use Windex.
In all seriousness my mom is my biggest supporter. She is and has always been there for me and I can call her whenever I need her.
Thanks, mom.
I love you. Happy late Mother’s day.